A year ago my grandpa lost his wife of 54 years, now we are dealing with him believing she is still here with us. Is this depression?

Dear Jane,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the loss of your beloved grandmother. If it comforts your grandfather to know that his wife is still there with him in spirit, I would let him be. It might be part of the grieving process and he might be in the denial phase.

My uncle had vascular dementia with Alzheimer's. His wife died when he was in an earlier stage of the disease. He wouldn't remember it. In later stages he would tell visitors that his wife must be outside playing with the children.

I would imagine that losing a spouse after 54 years together would be extremely devastating, so it could be that he is still grieving, having trouble adjusting or just trying to cope the best way that he can. Is he reaching out for support? Is he getting out and socializing? Is he eating, sleeping, caring for his daily needs? I'd examine those quesitons and then see if dad will see his primary doctor, along with you. You can alert doctor as to what is going on. That way, the doctor can assess him to see how he's doing. It could be a UTI, medication or cognitive decline. Sometimes people with dementia forget that a loved one has died.

I hope you can find some answers.