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Leadersforlife Asked December 2016

What do you say or do when your mother accuses her oldest daughter from sneaking in her house and moving things or stealing from her?

BarbBrooklyn Dec 2016
I'd get her tested for a UTI first if this is a new behavior. but yes, next stop is the geriatric psychiatrist

surprise Dec 2016
If Princess Leia can die at 60, then any of us mere mortals could die at any time. Use this as a way to bring up estate planning - having POAs and advance directives are really important. You can find these forms by searching for your state's Legal Aid website and your state and Advance Directive or contacting the family attorney if mom has an estate of any value. If she meets with atty, make that appt for first thing in the am when she is the most perky!

Just as important, you need to get her in for a memory assessment so she can be started on an anti-dementia drug. I'd call up a geriatric psychiatrist, explain the situation, and then make a late in the day (when memory is worst) appointment for you or one of the sibs to take her. A psych office won't have flu patients.

You don't want to *ask* her about going, just plan it for her. When it's time, *you* should confirm the appt so she won't cancel it. She will be more likely to go if she's expected. Make it very casual, that you two have a date for lunch after this , and tell her that it's one of those things that people her age are supposed to do. Someone has a list somewhere for old folks that includes heel testing for osteoporosis, colonoscopies, and when indicated, a geriatric psych workup - not necessarily a "government" list.

Come back here early and often for support, commiseration, and practical advice. Best wishes as you start this journey.

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