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aggie16 Asked November 2016

Can I divorce my incompetent husband?

My husband and i have separated for 8 years and we have a Separation Agreement dividing our assets. I hear he is now incompetent and going to a nursing home. will i be able to commence divorce proceedings given his condition? can his guardian object although we have agreed to live separate lives and go our separate ways independent of each other 8 years ago?

EXPERT K. Gabriel Heiser Nov 2016
The answer varies from state to state. Some states do not permit the divorce of a person adjudged to be incompetent/incapacitated, while others do indeed permit this. Thus, you need to find out the law in your own state on this issue.

pamstegma Nov 2016
Your divorce will be easily granted due to prior separation. However, that does not protect you from Medicaid insisting that all assets be accounted for and fairly divided according to their rules. By divorcing him, you will have no rights to a community spouse allowance. Think it over with an attorney.

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BnnK54 Nov 2016
You are still entitled to SS from your spouse if you are divorced as long as you have not remarried.

OldBob1936 Nov 2016
Even if divorced you are still entitled to the larger Social Security award if you were married for at least ten years..
Grace + Peace,

Bob

ferris1 Nov 2016
I'll add, if you have been married to this man for at least ten years, even if you divorced him, you would still be entitled to his social security benefits (given he made more money than you). You only get a portion of it while he is living if you are getting social security benefits as well, but the minute he dies, you would get the entire amount. I know because my husband's ex-spouse is receiving a portion of his benefits, but once he dies, I will receive the entire amount. Make sure you are talking to social security in person because they made a mistake with my benefits, I bought a new car with the higher benefit, but then s.s. came back and reduced the benefit. I had to take the car back and it resulted in a charge-off with Hyundai because I could not make the payments. My credit rating is sunk, for now.

cwillie Nov 2016
I don't know how medicaid sees a separation agreement, it could be complicated so you would do well to see an attorney who is well versed in medicaid and legal separations and not just a divorce attorney. I really don't expect an answer, but why didn't you just divorce in the first place?

Isabelsdaughter Nov 2016
Something to considder is a widows pension, where you get his social security after he passes away. You have to be married for a certain amount of time, and you need to be 60 to be eligible.

aggie16 Nov 2016
From Aggie16: Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. The reason why my husband and I separated 8 yrs ago was because he was an abusive alcoholic.i suffered his abuse for almost 18 years before making the decision to leave. Every year I would hope that he will change and stop his drinking.He has lost all his friends and relatives because of his bad behavior when he is drunk. Even though we agreed to go our separate ways, I found myself returning to his rescue whenever he found himself in trouble. To this day i am still his only friend. Divorcing him does not mean i will stop helping or visiting him but i need to take care of my assets and this was one of the ways my lawyer suggested. i feel a lot of compassion for him and it really saddens me to see him waste his live and lose his mental capacity due to alcohol.

BnnK54 Nov 2016
Wouldn't it be nice if only people who had actual information answered these questions? I didn't see the part where she asked what your view of marriage/divorce were.

heatherb67 Nov 2016
Good Lord. Enough with the preaching and judgment. IMHO, there's a big difference between casting someone out for falling ill or becoming disabled and separating yourself from an active, abusive alcoholic. Do martyrs rank higher in God's eyes "on judgment day"?

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