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Amelody5863 Asked October 2016

Mom (79) is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is threatening to leave my dad (80). Is it bipolar, or frontal temp dementia?

Need to learn to care for both parents as they go through this challenge. It is difficult to deal with. Dad is still very active and goe to gym everyday. Mom goes no where. Dad drives her everywhere she needs to be. Dad cooks and cleans for her yet they are down each others throats. Need help.

notrydoyoda Oct 2016
Bipolar disorder, formerly manic depression, is a mental disorder with periods of depression and periods of elevated mood.[1][2] The elevated mood is significant and is known as mania or hypomania, depending on its severity, or whether symptoms of psychosis are present. During mania an individual behaves or feels abnormally energetic, happy or irritable.[1] Individuals often make poorly thought out decisions with little regard to the consequences. The need for sleep is usually reduced during manic phases.[2] During periods of depression there may be crying, a negative outlook on life, and poor eye contact with others.[

Veronica91 Oct 2016
Bipolar certainly causes depression but not necessarily mania. it is absolutely essential that sufferers take their medications as prescribed and have then reviewed regularly. As one becomes older it is more difficult to put up with unacceptable behavior in a spouse. aside from mom's mental illness Dad may be becoming more intolerant of her behavior which she is finding unacceptable because she really can not help a lot of it especially if dementia is creeping in.

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notrydoyoda Oct 2016
Bipolar disorder is about a combination of mania and depression, not about suddenly wanting to leave someone. What meds is she taking for her bipolar?

Llamalover47 Oct 2016
Talk to your town's social worker.

kirby123love Oct 2016
I got to visit my mother-in-law today. She has doesn't recognize me anymore. She is no longer a danger to anyone. She answers basic yes or no questions. I'm blessed to take care of her. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have my wonderful husband. I am a nurse by trade. I can't say that the last 10 years have been easy. I can say it has been an incredible life experience that I can carry to my job. :)

kirby123love Oct 2016
My mother-in-law had a history of bipolar. She never ever took her meds right. Then she began having beginning stages alzheimers. I wish I could tell you she got better. The mania became intense. We ended up having to commit her to a hard to find geriatric psych facility. Write everything down. When you see a doctor they really don't always have the time to listen. Good luck to you. Breathe.

fixercantfix Oct 2016
PersonalRep5484 is right. That is one of the things the Area Agency on Aging did for me. They put me in touch with an elder law attorney who did my MIL'S POA, done at no charge, and in the case of my MIL was able to advise us on the Medicaid laws as well at a reduced fee. Unfortunately, we will not be needing the medicaid for her due to a diagnosis of lung cancer. Thare again the Agency was able to help with things we needed to get done on her behalf. They are a wonderful source for advice.

PersonalRep5484 Oct 2016
Just remember to use an Attorney for Medicaid planning. Not a company of any sort. As there could be problems that only an Elder Care Medicaid/Litigation attorney can address. They will make sure everything is done properly so you don't have a problem at any time. They are worth the money and can give you peace of mind. They will tell you exactly what to do and help you along with it, so both your parents have what to live on. Good Luck

fixercantfix Oct 2016
Contact you local Area Agency on Aging . They were an enormous amount of help to me in so many ways.

PersonalRep5484 Oct 2016
You may want to consider a Living Assisted facility for your mom. Dad can remain independent. Sadly sometimes parents need to be separated in order for each to receive the care they need. I have a family member in the same situation. There are agency's that can help you find a placement for the kind of care your mom needs. You should also speak to an Elder Care Attorney, as they will guide you with the financial aspects, what you need to do, put into place, especially if mom can apply for Medicaid in a year or 2. It is important that proper paperwork be in place in a specific time frame and only an Elder Care Attorney can help you properly with this. Your parents would pay for the attorney and need to know the importance of doing this type of paperwork soon. Good Luck, I know from experience it is a rough journey ahead.

Zombie Oct 2016
My father never had any mental health issues aside from screaming and cursing until he became hypermanic and psychotic at age 65 in 2004 with two more episodes a year later and three years ago. I figured out a few months ago that he has frontal temporal deterioration. I am still trying to get an official diagnosis but he is text book FTD, and his neurocognitive testing verifies my diagnosis. So, has your mom had mental health issues previous to age 79? Was she ever seriously depressed or manic? If so, then it's probably bipolar. If not, then, in my opinion, it could be FTD, and she should have neurocognitive testing. Tell her it's a chance for her to prove that nothing's wrong with her (which most people with FTD believe). Many people with FTD are diagnosed as bipolar. It's also possible that my dad and/or your mom have both. Good luck. I hope your journey is easier than ours.

jeannegibbs Oct 2016
If she has been diagnosed by a qualified medical professional, then that certainly holds more weight than anything we could guess from these few sentences.

Did the doctor who made the diagnosis also develop a treatment plan? Is your mother following it?

It must be very hard to see your parents "down each other's throats" and know that one of them is ill. How has their relationship been in the past? Is this conflict fairly recent or is it just more of same, intensified some?

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