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Sheilaallison Asked September 2016

Taking vacation without husband with Alzheimer's.

I desperately need some alone time I booked a cruise in December but now realize I cannot take my husband. It is just too much confusion for him and it's not a real vacation for me. I have friends that will be going on cruise that help but it still ends up frustrating for me and I am just as tired when I get back home


I am considering asking a family member to stay with him and go on cruise without him. My concern is what if he acts up when I am away he is totally attached to me and when I am not around he may get unmanageable
I work full time so he does not see me during the day (he goes to adult day care)
But his routine may not be the same even though I can make every effort to outline his routine for the family member
I feel bad about wanting to do this but I really need time away from him

gladimhere Sep 2016
Have niece come and stay for a few days to learn the routine, then give her the option about whether she really wants to do this. Then he has an opportunity to be around her too. The helpful relatives that say they woukd love to help and do not understand what they are getting into.

Sheilaallison Sep 2016
The family member is his niece who is willing to do it I want him to be at home where he is comfortable and well adjusted to home memory care might be too disruptive and unfamiliar to him he would continue to go to day care she would cook food that he is familiar with and he would sleep in his own bed
She has power of attorney when I am not available
I will give her ins card doc numbers etc and hope for the best
I love him but need time away

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gladimhere Sep 2016
Shelia, of course you need the time away and it is well deserved! Have you thought about a memory care facility that will care for him? I woukd certainky check those options for respite before asking a family member that is not familiar with his care routine. No, a facility is not familiar with him either, but they are pros and have seen it all and have very good training on how to deal with it. Then is family wants to rotate time, days, etc, that is even more confusion and disruption from normal routine for him. I would rethink this and explore other options.

pamstegma Sep 2016
You give the family member a written consent form to act on your behalf for all medical treatment including hospitalizations, while you are gone, signed and notarized. Make sure you leave the insurance cards with them as well.

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