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Cdtrog1957 Asked September 2016

Dad has Parkinson's and early dementia.

He is a bud lite guy dad has drank since he was 14 yrs old his doc said 3 or 4 beers was fine over the last several months he has increased his intake to cut him back is a battle that is almost impossible to win as in his mind I'm still his 16 ur old son that Dont know anything is he to old to put in a in-house rehab I have to realize he dose not have his mind about him an b 4 I stepped in 2 yrs ago him an his wife (not my mother) spent every day at the gulf club of local tavern she was put in a place for lod timers what can or should I do to stop the cycle thanks. Beeker

Angelkw Sep 2016
Antabuse is NOT an alcohol withdrawal medication!!! This is a very dangerous thing to say about that drug. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly and needs to be handled by a protocol of benzodiazepines NOT antabuse!!! Antabuse is a drug given to people who are ALREADY sober and past the point of withdrawal. It causes the person to get extremely ill if they drink...and it can itself cause liver and kidney damage, seizure and psychosis...you should really do your research before yo post such dangerous and inaccurate information.

Angel

Llamalover47 Sep 2016
Cdtrog1957: I'm assuming that you hit a typo a few times and meant to write addiction.

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Cdtrog1957 Sep 2016
No she is just staying to help outcfor a while dad dont smoke an yes i was blessed with the addition gene but have been a good guy for over 16 yrs with no slips addition runs long an deep in the males in our family im home all the time 24/7 dads care giver no breaks or help till my girl showed up 2 month ago

Veronica91 Sep 2016
Dad already has three strikes against him, Dementia, parkinson and alcoholism. Add those together and after all these years he probably has some liver and possibly brain damage. Does he smoke as well? I have found most alcoholics do. if so another strike.
I must ask if you or your girlfriend have any addictive behaviors that you could have inherited.
You may not want to put him in a facility but it may be getting close to the time if you are both out all day working. He really is not safe to be left alone all day. Try and think about the future. if he is still reasonably healthy and safe enough at home just let him have his beer, he has little else left in life.

Lassie Sep 2016
How old is your dad? If he's over 80, I would give him his 6-pack a day. That's it. One 6-pack of beer a day. That should see him out of this mortal coil in relative comfort, don't you think? Any damage that has been done, is done. He is never going to 'get all better', go through re-hab and get a whole healthy new outlook on life, be the picture of health after quitting the booze. Let him have his 6-pack and let him go out as he wishes, not as you wish. (I am going to assume he is elderly, 80 or so, and I think when people get to be 80 or so they should eat, drink, smoke, or whatever they want because, what difference does it make at this point? If he's still in his 60's or even 70, there's still a chance he could sober up and live another 10-20 years. Do you and he want to go for that chance?

Llamalover47 Sep 2016
Thanklessjob: The name of the alcohol withdrawal medication is called "Antabuse."

Llamalover47 Sep 2016
Cdtrog: It's not a "church thing." We are a bible-based addiction support group in all ways- overeating, overspending, alcohol, drugs, OCD, et al.

Llamalover47 Sep 2016
tacy022: Of course this happened! I'm not surprised at all! Take the booze away.

Cdtrog1957 Sep 2016
Thank u to every one who put in there 2 cents an just so u all know i took dads driving privalage as soon as i brought him in my home as me an my girlfreind were almost killed when a 87 yr old woman hit us head on an my bike was going to let that happen so i know the easy thing would just let him go on doing what he has been doing the six pack a day sounded good also but i think i will see what doc thinks the church thing no good after his scond wife passed he lost all faith so thank everyone i will reread what u all wrote incase i misded something

SueC1957 Sep 2016
Hi Cdtrog1957,
If the "1957" in your screen name is the year you were born, then we're the same age. Your dad must be around 82-88 yrs. old.
I had the same problem with my dad. He had a TIA (a mini stroke) and had to live in a board and care facility. He drank alcohol all of his adult life. His favorite was vodka but, in the later years, it packed too much of a punch, and he couldn't drink that in the facility, so he switched to beer. His doc knew he was an alcoholic, so he said 2-3 beers a day. Somehow that didn't happen. I found out that my ex husband would bring him beer and or take him out to buy it! He KNEW the rules but decided to break them. I wouldn't be surprised if one or two of the workers there also picked it up because he was generous with the money if you'd do him the favor.

That said, if your father is drinking 4+ beers a day, his body is used to (addicted to) the alcohol in the beer. In my opinion, it is NOT a good idea to withhold or stop giving him beer without medical supervision due to the possibility of going into withdrawal (DT's, delirium tremons, a common condition causing hallucinations and wild behavior when alcohol is stopped abruptly.) If you want to force him to quit, you MUST get his doctor to assist with withdrawal medication. I would be very nervous to try this at home. Better to place him in a detox (and beyond) program. They will be able to deal with his other medical conditions also. My dad went in in his early 80's so he could take a medication for his ulcer that couldn't be takern if you were drinking alcohol. He did great but on discharge day, he asked me to stop at the liquor store!!! That's how it is for them, their whole life revolves around booze.

Is he driving? (I hope not.) If he is, call his doctor to see if he can declare that he should no longer be driving. They send their medical order to the DMV, so his license will be suspended. At least he'll be off the road.

From what I've observed, alcoholics are going to find a way to drink, if you buy it or not. He won't be interested in stopping. Get his license taken away and put up with him having a 6 pack a day. If you buy it, ONLY buy one 6 pack a day!! Unfortunately that means a trip to the store daily but at least that will be all that is available. Been there, done that, good luck.

lifeexperiences Sep 2016
i agree with a couple of people here...if he enjoys his beer and is NOT driving...after all these years...why try to get him sober? i'm pretty sure you would not be able to anyway...and getting sober for an alcoholic is hell on you!! once your parent is bedridden...you won't want him to live a long time like that...nor do i think he would either!!

cwillie Sep 2016
Does he drink from the can, would he notice if you substitute non alcohol beer later in the day?

Llamalover47 Sep 2016
Your father is an addict. Suggest that he find a church who hosts weekly (Friday) night meetings called Reformers Unanimous. If the bottle is his crutch, then he is a user.

Cdtrog1957 Sep 2016
Choclinda i did agree with u on this but it adds to the dementa an in the evenings he gets really lost an becomes a handful i thought if i get the beer out his diet maybe i could get a grip were his mind really is an he dont drive an yes i get the beer if i dont it gets mean an i just cant fight over it an besides if i stop it would it kill him going to talk to his doc. On the 20th i have him 24/7 no real help from my brother or sis she has him 2 times a month for a total of 16 hrs he is mine every waken hour sept them 16 hrs really dont want to put him in asst living he would be lost

arianne777 Sep 2016
As someone who has been sober in AA for 41 years, I agree with both writers above. My late husband who had Parkinson's and did not drink, lacked the capacity to respond in time when a teenage driver ran a red light and rearended his vehicle. If my husband had rear seat passengers they would have been killed.

choclinda Sep 2016
At this stage of his life, why deprive him of something he enjoys? It certainly isn't going to make any difference in his condition. Just as long as he doesn't have a car or access to one. What is it with Americans born and raised in the USA?? Too many lack empathy, understanding and basic common sense.

Grandma1954 Sep 2016
I doubt rehab would help.
In order to stop an addiction you have to want to stop. He might not want to stop..at this point.
Is he still driving? If not who is providing the beer?
If he is still driving you will get quite a few comments that he should not be driving. Simple facts..should not be driving while drinking, that is the obvious one. With the dementia his judgement is further impaired. And the Parkinson's also makes it a bit risky.
Have you talked to the doctors about him driving?
It is tough to remove another means of keeping his independence.
Has he been evaluated for depression? That might be the reason for his increase in drinking.
(Faster way to end your life knowing you have not 1 but 2 conditions that will lead to total decline and dependence upon others)

amicable Sep 2016
How is he getting the beer? Is he still driving? If someone is getting it for him, you could talk to them and let him know what the doctor said, and ask them not to continue doing that. I feel for you. Ultimately, he is a grown man and unless he's been declared incompetent, there's not much you can do about it; he will make his own decisions about what goes into his body. It's hard to accept...I've been through the same thing with my mom. She no longer drinks, thank goodness, but drinking and smoking have taken their toll on her body, and lately the struggles have been over her diet. But ultimately it's her decision and she is the one who will have to live (or die) with the consequences. Hang in there and keep posting to let us know how he's doing. This is such a wonderful site and it really helps to know that you're not alone :)

pamstegma Sep 2016
At this stage of the game, rehab is not going to restore any function for him. You might want to ask the MD about thiamine (vitamin B1) injections or supplements, as alcoholics tend to deplete B1 and that leads to memory loss.

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