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suerear Asked July 2016

My mom's husband has been having her sign checks and cashed over $50k from her account. Do I have any legal recourse?

My mom (89) re-married 15 years ago, he's 90. I just discovered he's been having her sign checks. He's cashed over $50k from her acct. Appears this started right around or soon after she was diagnosed with Alzhiemers in 2014 and checks he's cashing have gotten larger over the last couple of years. They have a pre-nup agreement stating that they're keeping their financial matters separate. I am my mom's financial POA -that's how I discovered this as I recently took over her finances due to her declining memory. Since they are married and somehow he apparently gets her to agree to sign blank checks, then he fills them out and cashes them... do I have any recourse legally or otherwise against him?

vegaslady Jul 2016
Ff, why do you think a prenup is only for the money people had prior to marriage? It actually depends on what it says.

Sunnygirl1 Jul 2016
It may be rather complicated figuring out whose money is whose. I'd consult with an Elder Law attorney who also practices Family Law and/or has someone like that in the office, since both sets of law will apply. Do you know if her husband has seen an attorney and been told to spend the assets so that she would qualify for Medicaid?

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freqflyer Jul 2016
suerear, pre-nups are for financials that each person had obtain PRIOR to their marriage. Those funds are kept separate.

Since your Mom and Step-Dad have been married 15 years, then any funds/houses/cars/etc they have obtained over those 15 years are used by both of them however they see fit.

As for the cost of living elderly, especially with around the clock caregivers and other outside help, for my Dad it was costing him over $20k a month. Once he wanted to move to senior living [yes, his idea] the cost was cut more than half. And the house sold, thus giving him funds to continue in the senior living.

I also wonder, as did cwillie above, if either your Mom and/or Step-Dad need to apply for Medicaid to help pay for higher level of health care, Medicaid could turn them down because of money "gifts" to the sons.

cwillie Jul 2016
At least you were able to stop any future cheques. Have you asked him or his sons about repayment? I wonder if his sons have already bled him dry so he is "borrowing" from your mother's accounts. These large gifts will come into play should your mother (and step father, for that matter) need medicaid some day.

suerear Jul 2016
and I have brought in "Comfort Keepers" earlier this year as a care-taker service to provide house-cleaning, meal prep, laundry, etc as well as companionship. He is much sharper than mom. He may have some old-age memory challenges but does not have Alzheimers. Mom, however, is forgetting who her kids are. Unfortunately, she is declining with time.

suerear Jul 2016
It seems he's using the money to support his 2 sons, who are both in their 50's, who cannot or do not work. I have seen his checkbook (when helping them both with their taxes) and he writes many checks to both sons for hundreds/thousands of dollars each month. When I asked why is he asking mom to write these large checks, he wouldn't answer, but mom spoke up and said "that's what he charges for me to live here". That was for a $20k check. Living expenses are clearly not $20k, and absolutely not $50k in one year! I have locked down everything, using POA, however I would like to take legal action against him as he appears to have taken full advantage of my mother's deteriorating memory and the fact that she is clueless about her finances and simply signed checks when he told her to. The fact that they are married may cloud my ability to pursue this legally -- that is my question.

pamzimmrrt Jul 2016
how is his mind?? Any thoughts of ALZ there?

cwillie Jul 2016
Uhm, they're 89 and 90, could he be using that money to help pay for things neither can do anymore... cooking, cleaning, her health expenses?

Windyridge Jul 2016
What on earth is a 90 year old doing with 50k? Hell yeah! Get your poa and get on your horse.

Get the checkbook away from her and lock down the money, credit cards etc. Tell hubby you are watching wI'll take legal action if you see anything funny. Matter of fact, talk to an attorney now about this mess.

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