My 80 year-old father-in-law has become wheelchair bound in the past 2 months, due to a spinal tumor. He has always lived independently in his own home but now he is unable to care for himself. He can't even get out of bed or go to the bathroom without help. However he is refusing to move to an assisted living facility. He wants to keep living alone in his home by hiring live-in-aides that he can't afford long term. We have been helping him find and hire live-in-home aids, under the assumption that he will eventually move to an assisted living facility. Live-in-aids are extremely expensive, and he will run out of money in just several months at this rate. We showed him the math but he refused to listen. He is sound of mind but unable to deal with reality. When his money runs out, I fear that he will end up alone in his home in a dangerous situation. I imagine he will probably call 911 out of desperation when this happens. My husband and I will probably be called and questioned why he was left alone in an obviously unsafe situation. I fell trapped into enabling my father-in-law down a path of destruction. He is destroying not only himself but also his son and 2 year old grandchild. My husband has taken so many days off work to help his father that I fear for his job. He is our sole bread winner, and we have a 2 year old child with special needs. Even finding home aids has become next to impossible because my father-in-law insists on being lifted from his wheelchair to the commode; he refuses to use a diaper. It is very hard to find strong male aids who are able to lift my father-in-law. I have spent countless hours on the phone trying to find home aids. Then my father-in-law fires them because he doesn't like their personalities. I can't keep doing this anymore. Is is OK to stop helping him? He is of sound mind and financially independent from us. Will my husband and I be charged of elder neglect if we stop helping him?