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jewels1809 Asked July 2016

How do I keep a bipolar sibling from taking my mother on outings from a nursing home?

I do have power of attorney.

ferris1 Jul 2016
You are NOT to disclose ANY medical condition your sibling may have WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION! And being bipolar does not make you a villain, nor an incompetent dunce! I got through nursing school, and a masters program, plus a paralegal program, so don't even think all of us with bipolar disorder should not be walking around without a guard. Perhaps you could serve your sibling well by talking to them, and then finding out more about the disease. With medication, most of us are high functioning and lead very productive lives. I am really insulted you have attached another stigma to anyone with a mental illness. Would you do the same to those who have diabetes, high blood pressure, a broken arm, etc.? Why don't you try going somewhere with your sibling, and your mother if she is able to leave the nursing home? Of course as power of attorney you have the ability to prevent such outings. Then you would be denying your sibling of time alone with YOUR mother since both of you were carried in her womb (I am assuming). What gives you the right to judge? Yes, I am very angry with your assumption about people who share bipolar disorder. Patty Duke, Winston Churchill, Ted Turner, Debbie Reynolds' daughter Carrie Fisher, and a host of other celebrities share our disorder (to name a few). Misguided to say the least...

Countrymouse Jul 2016
What you should do is feel entirely justified in sharing with the staff at the NH the fact that your sibling is living with Bipolar Disorder and cannot take responsibility for your mother's safety and welfare.

BUT! - I am assuming two things:

1. That your mother does not have capacity. And, by the way, one has power of attorney FOR another person, not ON her.
2. That the bipolar disorder is currently causing your sibling problems.

Many people do of course lead perfectly satisfactory lives in spite of this mental health condition; and if your sibling is one of them, then the bipolar is not sufficient reason in itself for barring outings with your mother.

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Tantailus Jul 2016
BiPolar in and of itself is not necessarily a reason to withhold visitations. Many people live with this disorder, including myself, who are the primary caretakers parents. I can say for myself that I work with my brothers to ensure there are not outstanding issues. I suggest you learn more about Bilpolar and work with your sibling until such time as they are determined to be unfit, working with professionals, not simply a personal bias.

BnnK54 Jul 2016
HIPPA covers healthcare workers; not private individuals.

jeannegibbs Jul 2016
BTW, I think your desire to allow your sister to visit your mom but to prevent her from taking mom out without your knowledge and approval is right on-target. You don't want to punish your sister or your mother. You just want to keep Mom safe.

jeannegibbs Jul 2016
CM is perfectly correct that many persons with Bipolar Disorder lead perfectly ordinary lives. That disorder would not be enough reason to bar someone from normal activity with a parent.

If your sibling is not reliable in this regard, then let the nh know that.

Can you come up with alternates that might satisfy both mother and sibling? Maybe you go with them on some outings? Suggest that sibling attend some in-house activities with Mom?

mickeymat Jul 2016
POA does not afford you the right to determine whether a sibling could take your mother for an outing. You would have to have guardianship for that. That is a legal process that differs from state to state.

gladimhere Jul 2016
Does your mom have behavior issues or increased disorientation upon returning from outings with your sister?
Does mom enjoy the outings with sister?
Has the facility told you there are problems?
As POA you could stop outings with sis. But, unless the facility has told you of resulting issues, you should leave it alone. If the facility notices increased behavior issues with mom, ask them to take the lead on stopping the outings. Takes you out of the middle of it and will eliminate this problem with sis. You are POA but that does not give you right to stop outings if mom enjoys them. If, on the other hand sis is causing danger to mom you mey be able to do something. I would leave it to the facility to place this sort of restriction on your mom.

billkratt Jul 2016
mickeymat's answer is correct. Decisions about association with others, attendance at church, and similar are part of either a guardianship or a Power of Attorney for Health Care matters. In NC, and I understand in most states, a HCPOA is only effective when the person giving the power is incapacitated, usually based on a doctor's determination. It should be about safety. Be careful that it does become a struggle for control. Your mother will lose there.

Countrymouse Jul 2016
Since when does one owe one's sibling a legal duty of confidentiality? You can say what you like about him or her to anyone you like as long as it's true.

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