How do I get my aunt to pay for her own home care services?
My aunt is 92, mentally very sharp, physically very fragile. She's on a wide range of meds that include pain management, a mood enhancer, Coumadin, among others. I've looked after her now for some 16 months in a nursing home and have been her POA for some 16 months. She can now walk quite well with a walker on her own for a good distance. She can get up out of bed on her own, go to the bathroom, and do other things all on her own. Now she wants to go back home but doesn't want to hire any home care and wants me, her nephew, to do home care for her. I don't want any of it except one day per week. She's offered to pay me for doing it full time, but I declined and said she'd have to initially hire enough home care for six days per week and I would take Sundays only. If not the six days per week, she could easily afford 3 hours a day, Mon., Wed. & Fri., or any other combination up to 10 hours per week or so. This is for $20/hour. She won't have any of this, and I feel she's trying to trap me into years of caregiving. She gave me POA years before all of this ever happened, and some 7 years after I retired, she had a deep vein blood clot and I found myself taking care of her financial affairs and looking after her house, lawn, etc. I was using the POA, which she had prepared some years before all of this happened, to pay her bills and take care of her house. etc. She's looking now to get out of the nursing home and going back to her home. I don't want the job of caregiving her, and if she doesn't get enough help, I won't agree to take her out of the nursing home, though I won't be able to stop her from going home I suppose. My opinion/belief is that since she can afford taking on some home care, she's obliged to do so, but I think she wants to save her money to bequeath it all to her nieces, nephews, and others, which is commendable, but she shouldn't do this on my back. She should get enough home care, however much that will be, even if she has to run out of money and then go on Medicaid. I'm just concerned that she'll force me to go to her house because she'll not hire any help for herself. Any words of wisdom on my situation would be appreciated even if those words will show me to be in the wrong. I know that in another 10 hears I'll be in the same situation, but it's just something that happens to the most of us.