My mother (82) refuses to go to the bathroom and all she wants to do is sleep?

It is probably time for a check up with her family physician, but I'll share with you something a doctor once told me, "sometimes they just get tired". Not a very helpful diagnosis, I know, but often it is the only answer. Encourage her to get up to eat with you, this may include spoon feeding her. Take her to the bathroom, but keep her in incontinence briefs for the inevitable accidents in between. Allow her to sleep as much as she wants. Offer stimulation, but don't force anything. Keep her safe in body, mind and soul.

greyes, could you tell us a bit more about your mother. She may be in her last days. People do get tired and stop eating. They are often dizzy and weak, so the trip to the bathroom seems so long. Does she have a bedside commode that could be easier for her to get to? If you think she is in her last days on earth, ask her doctor about calling in hospice to help you. They could be a huge help and let you know what is going on with your mother.

Eight years ago it was the same with my Mother. It seemed to the family that Mum's life was coming to an end. She had Dementia and bowel cancer. I took her into my home - thinking it would only be a month or so and it was 7 years. As I found out more of what my Mum needed and what it took for her to want to be alive we beat the hopelessness and I would say the disease - at least slowed it down considerably and kept hopeful to the last moments of her life. This might not have anything to do with your situation - but I share it just in-case her condition is more immediately to do with hopelessness and lack of meaning. Just as something practical - if my Mother felt she was a burden for just a moment - she would take to her bed not respond. A key for us is that we ended up going on 5 years of outings - everyday - mostly combining picnics and nature - which was not easy in Ontario throughout the year. But we found a way. We all need hope and meaning - my Mother especially. All the best to each of you!

Will she drink? When I have that problem, it's Ensure for her (whiskey for me).

Has she been checked for a UTI?

My mother sits in her living room chair all day and sleeps, or just wants to have her eyes closed. She is in final stages of Alzheimer's dementia we were told? She only gets up and uses her walker to get to kitchen table when we inform her that her meal is ready for her.She eats, little bit, has to be reminded to take drinks when eating cause she has a problem swallowing.Then she gets walker and returns to her chair, does this every day all day.A few days ago, I was walking behind her to the dinner table, I noticed her lounging pants were very wet in the backside. I informed her that we should go to washroom to "wash up" b/4 dinner. ( I didnt want to embarrass her) in front of the others. She sat on toilet while I changed her pull up and slacks, then she washed up at the sink. She doesnt even realize that she wets and/or soils herself anymore. We only know by seeing or smelling the "signs"? Anyone have any advice, or any information if this is leading to "the ending" point of her illness?

I agree with Jessie and MJK, it could either be end of life and you may consider hospice care, or it could be a UTI and you have nursing service come in for a cath. urine to find that out. All good answers.

My mom stopped eating cause she was afraid she could not. So we made the usual food puréed it and fed her. What a relief.

She's probably ready to "go home" . It's difficult to let go of a loved one in the last days. I haven't had that exact problem but something similar..I know it's very hard, I would remind myself where she is going is a better place than here..Grieve and let go, expect the expected. Can she talk about her life? Where she grew up etc. life was so different for our elders than life is today. Just a thought..Hugs to you..

I'm with the UTI thing. Have that checked out first. It's insidious. It can show up as any symptom, but lack of appetite and lethargy is common with this killer.