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Mom is in a NH thousands of miles away. First visit she asked for help to go to the bathroom. She wanted me to stay while she tried to have a BM. There was no odor but the mere thought of it sent me wrenching. I just about threw up and had to leave to get a NH employee to help. I am so ashamed that I couldn't deal with it. Never had kids but can clean up after my pets without such s reaction. Just wanted to know if others have faced this. I'd it possible that some people just can't do this no matter what? I felt so bad.

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M209, don't feel bad, it is just something we were never trained to do. I never had children, either, but had no problem cleaning out the cat litter boxes.... my ex-hubby said the thought of the cat boxes would make him sick.

I think it is shyness. I never physically shared a bathroom with my ex-husband, nor with my sig other. And never shared a bathroom with a sibling growing up.

In fact, when my Mom was in long-term-care and her undergarment needing changing, I would find a Nurse/Aide... then I would leave the room until the Nurse/Aide was finished.
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I cannot take my mom to the toilet. She is in a NH. When she needs to go, i ring for an aide. If we need to take her out for a doctors appointment, i take an aide with me. I have three kids and pets. Nothing to do with the odor. It says in the Bible "do not uncover your parent's nakedness". I take this as a directive not to do hands on care. Strikes me as tremendous loss of dignity.
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Well, there's definitely a learning curve, and you were asked to jump right in without any preparation. I think having looked after kids, even if not your own, really does help, still, incontinence and toileting problems are one of the big things that have people searching for long term care.
BTW, you got her to the toilet, there was no need for you to stay and be the cheering section, you should have told her you would wait in her room until she was done.
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