Should we mention to mother-in-law she's worn the same clothes for a week straight?

Follow
Share

My mother in law hasn't changed her clothing or bathed or brushed her teeth for a week. When she stayed with us for a few days she slept in those clothes. Is it better to let it be and avoid accusations and excuses or force the issue? Btw father in law refuses to give us POA over mil while he's hospitalized. He lied and told us he already gave it to his other son- so nursing home is not going to happen anytime soon. He is being real eased on Tuesday and says he's looking forward to being back in his own home and things getting back to normal - oh geeze! Sorry for the mini rant attached to this question. We are documenting all this looks like we may have to go to court . - boo! $$$$$

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
6

Answers

Show:
Oh, Sorrynotsorry, that's too bad. Whether he's stubborn or just not using good judgment, it seems that he is not going to be up for full time caregiving his wife. If he insists, I'd check to see what's going on. It sure sounds like a very unworkable situation. Do you have Durable POA for him?

It sounds like some decisions will have to be made. I can't imagine that a fall risk senior who can't remember to take his meds, would be a good candidate to care for dementia patient who needs assistance bathing and changing. What does your husband say? I'd let him take the lead since it's his parents.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

FIL thinks he can. He has diabities type 2 and is on blood thinners . He ended up in the hospital because he fell . He hadn't taken his meds for a few weeks. He has a difficult time walking and has refused to use his cane. He will fall again- that wasn't the first time . He is stubborn .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I saw some advice from Teepa Snow, (I think it was her anyway) you "accidentally" spill some water on her lap and help her to change, If you spill something messier you might even get her in the shower to clean up!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Is it the MIL who has the dementia you describe in your profile? If so, will her husband take care of her when he comes home from the hospital? Will he be able to?

Depending on MIL's level of dementia, she likely isn't able to figure out that she needs a bath and clothes. She may think she already did it and even if you remind her, she may ignore you, because for some reason dementia patients often dislike bathing. There's just something about it.

Can her husband take care of it when he gets out of the hospital? If you are up for it, then I might try to be positive and get her up and clean, but if not, wait on him to come home. I would think she would feel much better after she got a bath. I wouldn't fret about mentioning it though. She's ill. Sometimes people who are ill need our help, even if they aren't aware of it. She may not realize you are just trying to help.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sorrynotsorry, sounds like Mom-in-law is lost in her thoughts while her hubby is in the hospital and is probably using track of time. Tell her Sunday is laundry day, and you wish to help her do her laundry.

As for the showering and brushing her teeth, I would ignore that for awhile... she might get back on schedule once her hubby is back home. Or buy some of those baby wipes that have a nice scent and you hand her some wipes and show her how nice they feel when you use them on your own arms and legs... nice and cool :)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You tell her, but gently. You start a load of laundry and ask for the stuff she is wearing. Offer her your robe to wear temporarily. You offer to wash her back in the shower. You get her a grab bar and shower chair and handheld shower head. Nag. Gently. You might even look at her scalp and tell her you think you see lice. That always gets them running.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.