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Chandira Asked April 2016

How do you care for someone you hate?

My mother is an alcoholic and a MEAN drunk. When I was younger she would tell me repeatedly that she wished I was dead instead of my sister (who died tragically when she was 22). Now that everyone is gone, and I'm responsible for her, how do I detach emotionally? I have no choice but to be involved in her life. I try to love her but there's too much anger there. I feel trapped.

Eyerishlass Apr 2016
The ladies are right. You absolutely have a choice.

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
" I have no choice but to be involved in her life. " Wrong! You always have a choice.

The way to care for someone you hate is from a distance, if at all. You see to it that she has access to heatlh care (whether she elects to use it or not), that an appropriate agency has been notified about her needs. You advocate for her good care.

You do NOT provide that care yourself! You do NOT take on responsibility for day-to-day care.

There are consequences to our actions. You have no power or responsibility to suspend the consequences of your mother's decisions.

She made choices that put her where she is today.

YOU have choices to make now. Don't think you can blame fate or karma or bad luck ... YOU have choices to make.

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yogagirl Apr 2016
Limit contact.

pamstegma Apr 2016
You have a choice. You walk away and save your own life.

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