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He told me that I wasn't moving fast enough. 1 month ago I set up full time home care service during the AM. Dad said that they weren't working out. He said that he was going over to XXXX nursing home & check in.." I know those people real good...they'll take care of me" Dad was in rehab at this facility. It is a good facility. how can I get over to him that this can take 6 wks or so. My sister,brother & I live 5-6 hrs away from him. That is the way it has been. We want him in a facility closer to us. That is OK w/him....til now.

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I would be a mistake to procrastinate so that you can get him to move somewhere closer to you. That manipulation is not likely to lead to a happy resolution of any kind at all. He has a pretty good idea what he wants to do, so bring him on over there ASAP for a talk and look about. Help him do what he wants to do at this point. There is no harm to this, and probably will go much better than forcing it to go otherwise. You can adjust.
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Many of us WISH our parents would/could make this self=assessment and choose to go into higher level care on their own.

I'd give him the choice, certainly. Likely he'll find it more enjoyable than the current situation and stay. And that's OK.
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Let him choose. If he likes the facility and staff and he has some acquaintances made there, let him go . Mom picked her facility, probably because some of her high school friends were there.
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^^^ oops, sorry, I meant to write "it is understandable you want Dad closer to you".
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Bravo for your Dad to decide on his own that it time for him to have a higher level of care. My Dad [94] did the same thing, he wanted out of his house, even with having caregivers, as he was becoming afraid of all the stairs. As soon as we walked into this one Independent/Assisted Living facility to preview, Dad said "where do I sign?".

I see from your profile that your Dad has age related decline [same as my Dad], would he really need to be in a nursing home? Depending on how much care he really needs, maybe an Assisted Living would work for now, especially if there is one in the same complex as the nursing home.

It is understandable you want Mom closer to you, but let him make this decision since he is still of clear mind. Let him still have the feeling that he has control. Elders like to stay in an area where they have lived for many years. That way when they read the local newspaper and watch the local TV news, it all looks familiar.
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So, Dad wants to go into a local nursing home that he is familiar with, and you want him to go into a facility close to where three of his children live. Is that essentially the conflict?

Dad would have the right to decide where to live. Has he agreed to move near you but then thinks you are taking too long to arrange that? And why is it taking so long?

One of my aunts worked in a community long-term-care facility before she retired. Many years later she walked over there from her house and told them she thought it was about time she moved in, at least for the fall. She lived there the rest of her life. So, yes, people do just walk in and ask to register!

How long it would take for your dad to actually be able to move in would mostly depend, I suppose, on whether they have any immediate openings or he'd have to wait for a room to open up. Also arranging the financial side might cause some delay.

From the time we decided Mom needed a nursing home to the time we moved her in was less than 2 weeks. So, yes, it can happen quite quickly.

If Dad goes over to XXXX and discovers it will take several weeks, perhaps he will be more patient with how you are proceeding. If they have an immediate opening and you can't persuade him that it will be better in the long run if he is nearer you, well, then, I guess he'll have a new address.
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