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nursecarebear Asked April 2016

Where to turn when I have witnessed elder abuse?

I have called sheriff ,APS and getting no where. my friend (ex boyfriends) mom is 94 her daughter has POA she is a mess been drinking heavily for year plus. now moved in with mom spending mothers money,on DUI court cabs booze etc etc my ex also an alcoholic living there is not helping. He is the mothers caregiver. also has psychological issues as does all 3 kidsits a sad mess. they play on each other for booze drunk every day. I am a retired nurse i see her heart medication not given she sleeps till 530pm not fed or bathed, crys & hides in her room. is a mess no food in the house. Ive called everyone i know but nothing is happening. now oldest son 60s also alcoholic moved in all 3 adult kids are going threw her money like crazy. she has several properties and they spend the income. IRS has placed a lien because daughter(poa) hasnt filed since 2012. i need help noone in my town seems to care about elder abuse..i cant sit back & watch anymore i dont want them to hate me but i need to save this lady she is special to me and they are killing her with their alcoholic behaviors. what do i do????? where do i go or who do i talk to??? NOT FAIR!!!

nursecarebear Apr 2016
thank you for responding.: yes i have reported it to her PCP,Cardiologist, i asked for a social worker and expecting a call from a mediation group, senior legal to see if they can help? Also AA is willing to help with intervention.for all 3 adult kids.. Another call (3rd)will be to APS thisafternoon. to report what i see after visit Also another friend has reoprted it too. Just seems everything isnt happening fast enough for my way of caregiving. months are just too long for abuse to go on.Yes also she usually wont admit negativity about her family and does say everything is ok.to sheriff

Joyfuldaisy Apr 2016
I lived thru something identical, except it was my Mom & brother, it hurt so bad & seemed as if nobody cared! 7 years of torture for my loved ones came to an end 3 months ago, when I stopped calling Sheriff & APS I went personally & sat with the sheriff & a review of POA was done it was a medical POA, what i was told that if my mom verbalized that she wanted to be leave with me, that they would respect that & escort her out! I went with the deputies & waited outside to be called in later, cause she did tell the deputies that she wanted to leave that home to come live with me. Immediately I took her & my brother out and straight into hospital for evaluation, my brother weighed 102 lbs. momma weight 142 lbs. she had bodily bruises the abuse/neglect/explotation was so obvious! Professional people had been so blind! Go ahead go personally to the speak to the sheriff, he might not be aware, but he will see the list of reports on file! I also told him if I did not get help I was gonna contact local Media, maybe this got him thinking cause they sure don't want media involved!

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jeannegibbs Apr 2016
Every time I go to any kind of clinic or doctor's office, whether it's a podiatrist to have my toenails trimmed, or the eye doctor, or my PCP, I am ALWAYS asked if I am subject to any kind of abuse. Apparently the medical profession is very concerned about abuse, or is at least mandated to be.

As a nurse you are undoubtedly aware of HIPAA restraints, but I wonder if you can report to her PCP that she is not being fed properly, and to her cardiologist that she is not being given her pills, along with the evidence and dates you visited her, etc. Would they have to report this at a level higher than what is available to you? They may not be able to discuss it with you, but would they have to/want to have it investigated?

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
NOT FAIR!!!
Saving this lady is more important than what her family thinks of you. So gold stars to you.

But, gee, you have called sheriff and APS. I suppose the sweet old lady tells them everything is OK and there is little they can do. Grrrrr.

I hope someone comes up with someone else you can call. This is a horrific situation.

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