If my father refuses to take care of himself, refuses to go to the doctor, refuses to change his clothes, refuses to use shampoo, etc., can I be arrested for neglect? I convinced him to go with me to Hair Cuttery today, and we both got hair cuts. The woman found accumulated gunk under his hair, and some of the scalp has a minor infection. He hasn't used shampoo in two years but he told the woman "I shampooed my hair today." I don't know if he really believes it, or he's a good liar. I don't want to take him to court to declare him incompetent. He just wants to sleep and stare the remainder of his life at home. I make sure he's fed but since my mother died 28 months ago, he spends all day in the recliner. Shortly before that, he had his third psychotic break. He is sane now (I give him meds) but does not say much of anything. People are now commenting on how dirty his clothes and hair are. I got the hair fixed today (he said it didn't need to be cut but he hadn't had it done since last fall) and told him he must change his clothes tomorrow. He's been wearing the same jeans for months. I can only tell him to do things so many times; he ignores me. Am I supposed to get in the shower with him and dress him because I find that very distasteful? I've made him doctor's appointments last year but he cancelled them when they called home to confirm. I've been told I should be forcing him to do things, and now it's all my fault. He's a grown man, and his psychiatric nurse (the only non family member who sees him) won't talk to me (HIPAA). He doesn't want to be put away permanently. He thinks he's just fine. If I'm arrested, who takes care of him and my animals and the house and land? I work full time and take care of him, the finances, the animals, a 19 room house, and 5 acres. My job won't give me time off. I don't take care of myself (can I be arrested for that too? Nah, nobody cares about me). I'm exhausted.