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Italia16 Asked February 2016

What do we do about a sibling who is pressuring a parent to go into assisted living against her wishes?

My husband and I are patient advocates but this only impacts decisions in the case of my mother being mentally incapacitated. My sister is using my mother's tenuous situation to try and convince her to move out of her home which she does not want to do. Is there anything the re hab center can do to or anything I can do to intervene as this is upsetting my Mother and not helping her healing?


 

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2016
I guess the real issue is what does her doctor say is her prognosis after rehab? If she's broken and hip, say, and will now need to ambulate with a walker, will it be safe for her to stay at home alone? Does she have the funds to hire caregivers at home? Will she be comfortable having people come in to care for her (my mother wasn't; she was much more comfortable at a facility with caregivers who had supervision on site, as were we).

EVERYONE wants to stay at home; sometimes that is a realistic goal, others times, not so much. The reason I asked about proximity, if it's your sister who keeps getting calls about "emergencies" from mom, it can become very, very wearing, very quickly.

If you tell us more about the situation, you'll get some well thought out answers, I'm sure.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2016
Do you mean you have Medical Power of Attorney for your mother?

What is "tenuous" anout her situation? What is she in rehab for? What is her health situation? How geograpgically close are you and your sister to your mom? Who is getting calls when there is an emergency?

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