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T
trident Asked October 2015

My Mother does not want to live in the NH and ask me to take her home for the weekend. Any advice?

Afraid that she will not go back. What should I do? she has live in the nursing home for 4 months and continually states she want to go home knowing she does not have an apt anymore. I ask her if I taken her out for the day will she be willing to come back and she state I have no home to go to and I would be will to come back to the nursing home. But many times she stated I have to get out of this place I don't want to die here. I feel so bad and I just do not know what to do. She has alzheimer's. and CHF, COPD.

timbuktu Oct 2015
Listen to jeanneg.These are some good ideas.

jeannegibbs Oct 2015
Under the circumstances I think that taking her home for a weekend would be a mistake and could make matters worse.

Are there specific complaints about the nursing home that you might be able to address, even in a very superficial way, to demonstrate that you empathize with her? Have you talked to the head nurse, her main aide, and the person in charge of activities to learn how she is settling in when you are not there? Do they have any suggestions about things you could do to help her settle in better?

Does the nursing home sponsor any day trips or outings? Something like that might make more sense than visiting your home. Perhaps you could go along -- they usually welcome volunteers. If you are helping with your mother, they can focus more on the others.

This must be heartbreaking for you. Keep reminding yourself that she is in the place she needs to be, whether she can recognize that or not.

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