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ErniesMum Asked September 2015

How to keep in contact long-distance with Mother who has dementia and is essentially deaf?

Not sure where to ask this question, but since my MIL has dementia, I figured this might be the proper site. My husband has POA for his mom who is in Assisted Living approx. 7 hours away from us. He calls frequently and she never answers the phone. He had the nurse check last week and her phone was under her blankets with almost no power left. He called the next day and she actually answered (The 1st time in a month!) but hung up because she couldn't hear anything. She has hearing aids, but frequently misplaces them and they only seem to minimally help. Is it asking too much to call the facility and have an aide go into her room to make sure she answers the phone? Are there other ways to keep in contact? We would gladly purchase a laptop or tablet for her so we could Skype, but that would require even more assistance from the staff. I don't want this poor, confused woman to think that she's been abandoned. Any suggestions?

gladimhere Sep 2015
Greeting cards and clippings from the newspaper enclosed, anything she may be interested in. What if you were to record a video to email to staff at the facility? Would staff be willing to play them for her? Do they have volunteers at the facility that could do that if too time consuming for the staff?

freqflyer Sep 2015
ErniesMum, it would be very difficult for an assisted living facility or any type of facility to have someone available to run to a room to make sure the patient picks up the phone. They have more pressing issues. Where my Mom is currently living, everyone seems to be rushing about with no free time to spare.

My Mom also has hearing issues thus she wouldn't even hear a telephone ring. Next best thing is to buy a lot of greeting cards and mail them to her. She would probably enjoy the cards. If she has a sense a humor, the funnier the better.

As for buying an elder state of the art techno toys, it wouldn't work. It's hard enough to learn new technology when one's mind is fully alert, I couldn't imagine trying to learn if there are memory issues.

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