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COULDITBEME Asked August 2015

I am at a loss to know what to do for Mom. Advice?

Sleeps most of day and night, doesn't eat or drink, dementia is worse. She was getting around fine. ? 2 weeks ago today Mom began to deteriorate. She said she was breathing good. This week I took her to PCP (Mom asked to go too) because she had labored breathing and was Not eating/drinking.
PCP said she has heart failure, rattling in lungs. Put her on heart meds, seroquel for sleeping because she wasn't at all and for anxiety, crying and screaming and lasik and pottasium for inflammation lower extremities . She sleeps all day unless I wake her up. Then, she falls off back to sleep quickly. I know meds are probably adding to the sleepiness but w/o it she is nuts/uncontrollable.
Today, she only ate a pack of PB crackers and strawberry ensure. Nothing else. I cook everything and it doesn't matter. She gets about 6-8oz water maybe daily.
Her next PCP appt is this Tuesday.
I don't know if this is another stage of ALZ or what? I am so concerned. I am worn out etc.
I need some advice, conversation and just plain ole "I care". Anyone got info.? I really appreciate your help and time. Hope your Sunday is the best ever. Love

Nancy50131 Aug 2015
My husband has been on hospice in declining health since March and it hasn't cost us anything. They provided the hospital bed, wheelchair, hoyer lift, diapers and LOTS of support. They are the greatest people in the world. They also have volunteers who will come and sit. I have a great one and after my husband passes, I will be a volunteer for them. I am so grateful for hospice. They cannot do enough for you. Bless you and give you strength.

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2015
Hospice is fully covered by medicare.

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COULDITBEME Aug 2015
In June this year Mom starting to really decline. She then started eating enough to survive as well as the water. She was active yet did a lot of standing and staring. I would check on her and find her cleaning a wall with a toothbrush. She wouldn't stop. Would get defensive.
My heart is breaking that this could be her final days of her life. I will talk with her Doc on Tuesday and get the rest of the test results. How much does Hospice cost?
Mom has been a guilt trip and more. I am the oldest and have been used and verbally abused. I am the reason for anything happening good or bad. On top of all that I have been my brother's caregiver also. It all started when I was just 10yrs old. Yes, I am burned out. Praying for the best for all of us.

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2015
"PCPs says she has heart failure and rattling in lungs". It may be that she has pneumonia, or it could be that she has fluid around her lungs (pleural effusion).

My understanding of hospice is that a doctor has to certify that the patients condition is life limiting and patient is likely to die in six months. Hospice care would provide comfort, not curative care. Hospital bed, some respite time for you, a nurse to come to the house to check on mom. Meds for pain and anxiety. Paid for by Medicare.

I would call the doctor tomorrow and ask if it's time to call in Hospice. The dementia may be worsening, but it sounds like her heart and lungs are actually the bigger problem.

COULDITBEME Aug 2015
Windyridge: Thanks for your answer. Mom is 77y.o.. She was active 2 days before her breathing suddenly changed. Now, it's her sleeping all the time, dementia much worse, pain worse, breathing is a very little better. When you say hospice what can they do? Do you have to be dying for them to help? If you don't care (or anyone with experience) to tell me more about hospice until I get a chance to google it or something. Mom does not qualify for KY medicaid. She is just a little bit over income. I will appreciate any help you have. Thanks

MaggieMarshall Aug 2015
Of course, I don't have any idea what's going on with your mom, but t sounds as if she is beginning to shut down. If she were my mom, I would keep her comfy, offer her food and water, and, most important, have her evaluated by hospice. It sounds as though she's close.

Windyridge Aug 2015
How old is Mom? Alz can get worse very quickly. You've done all the right stuff, getting her checked out and caring for her. Just a guess, but it may be time to talk to her doc about hospice.

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