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She hates doctors but needs to go! The DMV is requiring her to go to a Dr regarding her driving ability. If she doesn't go, she loses her license, but regardless, she needs to be evaluated and get some help.

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She has agreed to see a doctor now, only because the neighbor said it was a good idea (I"m the mean one!). Whatever it takes at this point. I will call the dr and explain why we are coming (she wants to see the neighbor's Dr ), and see what has to be done. I can't tell from this DMV paperwork if a physical has to be done, or just the questions asked and answered (not that she will truthfully answer them!)
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mslori2, how hard! I am 70. In my youth doctors always wanted you to strip and put on a paper gown. My only doctor who still does that is the technician who does the mammogram -- and I leave my pants on. I just had a mole removed from my shoulder and the dermatologist did it without removing my shirt. So things have probably changed A LOT since what you mother is remembering. Perhaps you could negotiate a deal with the doctor to assure your mom she won't have to strip. Certainly that may be necessary at a later date, and especially if there are symptoms to be checked more thoroughly. But I'll bet you could arrange for no stripping on the first visit! Would that help?
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Thanks everyone. She knows the state is requiring her to see a Dr. We went for the DMV interview because I reported her :) I was hoping the state telling her to see a Dr would get her there (because I have no luck), but she doesn't seem to care if she loses her license some days, yet wants to drive other days...She has always hated doctors and is revolted by the thought of stripping down for one. Even at the DMV she had a meltdown everytime the guy mentioned the word 'doctor'. She fortunately is rarely driving anymore, and the temp. license she now has expires soon, so at that point we disable the car then sell it. Next problem being she should not be living alone, and I am getting burnt out doing all her shopping and running over there to give the dog her medicine but SHE can't remember to give it. Thanks for listening to me vent
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Windyridge, even though it was critically important in our case to learn that my husband had Lewy Body Dementia, I kind of agree with you about resistant parents. We don't know what kind of dementia my mom has, but we deal with it as symptoms come up.

Five drugs have been developed, tested, and approved for use with dementia patients. None of them cures the disease. None of them changes the inexorable course of the disease. Each of them does some good in managing symptoms for some people. If you are in the lucky group they actually help, finding that out might be worthwhile.

Drug development has slowed down. The disappointing results of the first generation drugs is causing a different kind of research. Looking very hard at the nuts and bolts and proteins and genes of the disease will give drug companies more specific targets and, we hope, produce more effective results.

But here is why I still think it is worthwhile to have a person who shows symptoms evaluated:
1) There could be treatable causes for the symptoms. It may not be dementia.
2) It is good for the caregiver to know that these are symptoms beyond the control of the loved one (if that is true). Dementia symptoms are hard to accept even when you know it is dementia. Without a clear diagnosis the caregiver is in an even bigger world of hurt.
3) It provides the caregiver with a way to research what to expect, and how to deal with it. It may direct a caregiver to an appropriate and sanity-saving support group.
4) It is a wake up call that time is fleeting. A couple who had put off and put off a dream vacation got the stunning news that the husband had dementia. The first stop after the doctor's office was the travel agency. They booked that cruise. I think this is the best argument for an early diagnosis. By the time all the symptoms are there and it is obvious even to a layperson, many opportunities are already lost.

So, I urge people to get that loved one in for an evaluation. Get an "official" diagnosis of dementia, if that is the case, or get treatment for other causes of the symptoms. Even if you decide not to use drugs. or even if you try the drugs and they don't work, I think knowing where you stand is very useful (even if the person with the disease doesn't know the true diagnosis.)

I wouldn't worry about the person losing her license -- probably shouldn't be driving in any case -- but I do hope OP can arrange for a medical evaluation.
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My feelings exactly Pam. If someone has reported her to the dmv don't even worry about getting her to a doc. Take the keys. And I'll step out a bit here:

This is one of the most common problems for caregivers, "My mom/dad may have dementia but won't go to the doctor." That's my Dad. Would not let even his trusted doc of 20 years test him for alz. I gave up fighting with him long ago. He may have alz, vascular dementia were not really sure but it doesn't really matter. He exibits all the classic signs of dementia and I and Mom, have learned how to deal with it.

And I read a lot about all the meds for alz and dementia but in my opinion they are of no more value than a hundred other boutique drugs being cranked out br big pharma companies. I'm sure some will disagree and if there is some miracle drug out there that works I will start sneaking it into my dads Cheerios tomorrow morning.

Kinda ranting there, but in many cases it doesn't seem worth it to have all these godawful battles and trauma with old folks to find out which of the many different types of dementia they have.
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Any way you can! Coaxing, bribing, threatening, lying -- whatever works.

If she doesn't have a regular doctor, this would be a great time to switch to a geriatric doctor.

Once you get an appointment, send a note to the doctor listing (briefly) your concerns. What odd behaviors have you noticed that concern you?

Good luck!
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If she has Alzheimer's she should not be driving anyway. So let them revoke her license for the safety of innocent bystanders. DMV's don't send out those kinds of letters unless there have been reportable accidents, or someone has turned her in, such as a police officer or her own doctor.
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Why not tell her the truth? The DMV is requiring it or she will lose her license. If she values her license she may very well be willing to go. If she refuses and the DMV revokes her license at least you can say "I tried to get you to see a doctor".
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You can always fib and say that she needs to be seen at least once a year by a doctor, otherwise she will lose her Medicare.
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