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Deedee123 Asked June 2015

Dad (70) is dating a 30 year old. Any advice?

My dad has been seeing a lady for about 5 years. She comes over twice a week to go shopping. He pays her bills. She does not sleep over. They go on some trips together. He shops on the trips. She never does anything for him. Just gets take. Care of by him. He does not listen to me that she is bad news. Just pushes us away. Any advice?

debdaughter Jun 2015
good point; wish my parents had followed it; wonder if it would work with son's gf now, hm...

freqflyer Jun 2015
Deedee123, remember back when growing up, the more one's parents would dislike someone you were dating, the more you wanted to be with that person? Parents found that doing the opposite, like inviting that girlfriend/boyfriend over, saying nice things about them, fawning all over them, that the girlfriend/boyfriend wasn't that interesting after all, and the couple would go their separate ways.

Since your Dad is going to date this woman anyway why not befriend her, become her BFF, and maybe eventually she will drift away.

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Deedee123 Jun 2015
Yes. I live about 10 min away and see him every day. He is included in every thing we do. I eat with him every weekend and also several times during the week. That is what is kind of frustrating. My son goes to his house almost every day.

MaggieMarshall Jun 2015
He knows the truth. He doesn't care. He's probably lonely. Have you included him in your lives?have you taken him on any trips with you? Be thankful she doesn't want to get married. Stop talking about her and be more active in your dad's life.

Nothing quite like an old fool. ;)

Salisbury Jun 2015
debdaughter,

pahleeeeeeeeuz. Never going to happen, right?

debdaughter Jun 2015
she gonna be there to take care of him when he needs it?

Deedee123 Jun 2015
you are right. It is something I would never do morally and it is hard to watch. Thanks

JessieBelle Jun 2015
This happens sometimes. Older men like to see themselves as forever virile and attractive, even if they are our fathers. Having a young woman pay attention to him is flattering. He probably enjoys buying things for her. Men are different than women in the way they think. If your father is still competent -- and he probably is at 70 -- then there's nothing you can do except warn him not to spend too much. What the younger woman is doing may not be moral, but it isn't illegal. And what your father is doing may be foolish, but it is probably something he is willing to do for the pleasure of her company. It would be hard to watch when it is your father. You have my sympathy, but there's little you can do from a legal standpoint.

Salisbury Jun 2015
See a lawyer and find out if there is anything that you CAN do. Your dad is a bit young for dementia. Get professional advice. That is my advice.

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