Mom's rights to make her own decisions vs. my responsibility. Any advice?

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She is 89 years old. And definitely in her right mind. Wont listen to anyone. She has counseled her home insurance. The company deciding to give her new insurance or not, might say no. Lots of things need fixing. Outside house and on grounds. Mom had lot of things fixed. Says she cant aford everything. She can. And i paid to clean out house inside. If she is rejected. It will take long tome to find new company to try again. She is codependent with middle age brother that lives with her. He has personality disorder. She wont make decision on new company to try unless brother approves it. Cause he will drive her crazy if he doest approve. It took two weeks of calling for quotes and calling back these people for brother to approve a company. If i can get a company to insure the house with out going inside. Should i sign a contract. I have poa for fincical for mom. And then write the check. And not tell her what the company is called, so she cant call them and cancel the contract?

Barbara

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What are the specific conditions that allow you to act under the POA? Do they exist? If not, then you can't act under that authority.

Regardless, this sounds like a family landmine. I wouldn't step between your mother and your brother. If she's been enabling and allowing him to be dominant, that's a dynamic that you can't change on your own.

Unfortunately, I would agree that you need to stay out of it. I'm sure it's hard to see your mother in this situation, but I'm not really sure you could do anything to help her with or without a POA.

Sorry. I'm sure it must be a really tough situation for you.

As to the home owners insurance specifically, if she has a mortgage on the house, she'll likely be in technical default if she doesn't carry the insurance. It's a typical requirement of lenders.
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Google "resign power of attorney" in your state. Fill out the form. Do what the state instructs to make that a legally recognizable document. Then back away and don't take phone calls. Leave them to it.

If it bothers you, then call Adult Protection in your county and report a possible vulnerable adult situation. They will go out and check it in person because they have to by law.

You don't have to be the hero, and it might go better if the authorities step in.
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Since your mother is in her right mind, I don't think you can do this without her consent. POA empowers you to carry out her wishes, but not to sneak behind her back.

I know your motives are praiseworthy. In your place I might be tempted to do it anyway. But you should be aware that you don't really have authority.
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I would not have accepted poa. If I could, I'd move across country and disappear as much as I could: while you are still free. Transfer poa to brother and let him run everything into the ground, force the state to come in.
Otherwise, if you do not want to transfer poa to brother, he needs to be put in his place and you are gonna have to ignore the relation between you mom and him. No matter what, this is a dynamic you can't fix, can't overcome, and you will come out the underdog no matter what.
Get out of it if you can. And if you won't, if you have poa, mom should have no damn say in the matter either. but the laws may not help here.
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