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Rhondarae Asked April 2015

I'm a caregiver for a female (91) and recently she can't bend over far enough to put on a new depends. Advice?

She's been using Depends for a while.

Rhondarae May 2015
Thank you everyone. We have an OT here now with a grabber and we purchased depends with tabs, so maybe one will work.

Rosebush May 2015
Great minds think alike! After 2 back surgeries myself, I used dads grabber to pick up pine cones in the yard. He was not too happy when I handed it back all sticky.

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GardenArtist May 2015
Patrice beat me to it! I was also going to suggest a grabber, with OT consult or instructions on how best to use it. Not only will it help with changing, but it can be used (after cleaning) to pick up other items that aren't easily reachable. Or just get 2 - 1 for the Depends and another for grabbing items.

For me, the first choice would be to find a method by which she can change herself, as that will help her self confidence, and that would help her outlook so she doesn't feel as helpless.

Rosebush May 2015
Maybe call her doctor and ask for an occupational therapy consult. They will show you the easiest way to help her and you get her dressed, in and out of shower, etc, my dad has a stick with a pincher/grabber on the end and uses this to help get his pants up. This was recommended by a therapist while he was in rehab for back surgery. As my moms dementia progressed, I requested consults over the years to show me the easiest, safest ways to do things as my moms mobility decreased. Consults are covered under Medicare, need doctor to order , the grabber stick was not covered. Picked one up at medical supply store and the other ar a hard wear store.

LUVseniors Apr 2015
I have to do ALL of my dressing while sitting on the toilet (partly because since my accident in Aug I have very little use of either arm and the floor is a bit closer when sitting...just don't be impatient with her which only makes 'one' TRY harder/more and that's when you 'goof' somehow..when YOU want to help, DON'T .. just BE THERE if needed for SAFETY reasons..PATIENCE, PLEASE..

xxxxxxxx Apr 2015
Rhonda, that's why I thought the baby monitor might help at night. She wouldn't have to wake you because you will hear her get up and go to the bathroom and then you can go help her. If you get the kind with video, you can look to see if that's what is happening before you get up.

Toilet her before you leave for your errand and then she will be ok for an hour until you get back.

Rhondarae Apr 2015
That's adorable. We always help her but there are occasions we are running an errand - for less than an hour - that no one is there. At night she won't wake us.

LUVseniors Apr 2015
I personally prefer ALWAYS ... I sit on the toilet .. it's slow so am never in a hurry..I've waited all my life (I'm 92) for others now they can return the compliment.

IloveMom Apr 2015
It sounds like it's getting harder for her to maneuver. More caution is needed, maybe more shadowing her, make sure you hellp her to restroom, walk with her, etc......She doesn't need to fall.

IloveMom Apr 2015
Leave her on the toilet, and take off old diaper, they are tearable, so you can tear them at the seams, if need to, and put one on her as you would underwear. When they are sitting is a good time to start the layering process... depnds, pants, sock, shoes. Tie the shoes, then stand her up and pull up the depends and then her pants...My mom is 87 and is in the later part of ALZ.....

xxxxxxxx Apr 2015
I am going to suggest a baby monitor, maybe even with an integrated camera. We use one because mom will never remember to ring a bell. She will call out and I can hear her with the monitor. The video is pointed at her bed so that I can check on her to be sure she gets back in bed ok after getting up to go to the bathroom. She gets up several times a night and is uneasy on her feet. You would be able to hear that she is up and then you could help her finish the task and get back in bed safely and comfortably.

Rhondarae Apr 2015
There is just 2 of us - my boyfriend and I. Gladys is his mom. We do hire a caregiver sometimes for an overnight stay when we need to go see my 19 year old son.
95% of the time - we do help her, but there are occasions we might be at the gym gym, running a quick errand or it's at night. At night, she will try forever and then just waits until one of us gets up to check her. (She has a bell - but "forgets". She does use her shower stool (we pull it out of the shower when not in use) not like the "diaper" kind. I just thought there might a trick to it - so she can feel even a tiny bit independent.

Rev2elt Apr 2015
Have you tried the ones that open flat and you use the sticky tabs to join them together? If she is mentally ok she should be able to put them together.

xxxxxxxx Apr 2015
Are you concerned about the fact that you may need to help her now, or is it that she is getting stiffer?

See if she can put her Depends on while she is sitting on the toilet. Sitting down may help. I have to put Mom's feet in hers and then she can usually pull it the rest of the way up when she stands.

You might ask her doctor about doing stretching exercises with her. There is a very good exercise program on public television called Sit and Be Fit, and they have a website where you can order DVD's. They are excellent for the elderly if they can follow along.

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