My sister has restricted me from seeing my Mom. I turned them in at APS. Advice?

Both Sharon and Susan have my sympathy. Susan 1963, if your mother is physically incapacitated and your so-called "sister" hasn't made her home safe, especially in an emergency, that may be a starting point to get outside authorities to come in and assess the situation. It is so maddening when family members can SEE what one renegade relative gets away with and no legal recourse to stop the abuse!

I noticed that the original question above written by "2017Sharon" has a long profile for those who want more information. "Susan1963" isn't the same person who wrote the original question.

Hi Sharon--I'm so sorry you're dealing with this difficult family situation. But I don't really understand your original post. Maybe you could clarify and explain the situation a little bit more? We'd all love to help (there are some amazing people on here!), but I think they, like me, don't really understand the situation you're in enough to give advice that's really going to be helpful to you. I wish you the best in this situation.

Sorry for that rant. It upsets me when I hear or read about a sibling who tries and succeeds in alienating their parent from other family members. AlterraCarw is right, APS doesn't get involved in family arguments. You need to give more information about what's going on with your sister and mother. I can empathize with you re a sibling causing a rift between family. Unfortunately this happens too often. I've been in situations at work in the past ( private duty nurse ) where siblings tried to get me to take sides. I've even witnessed a fistfight between a nephew and his aunt over the patient's money. It can suck the life out of you.

My mother is in a wheelchair after suffering a stroke in 2013. She came to stay with me after being discharged from rehab, I own a mother/daughter and it was the most logical choice since she was unable to walk up stairs at her home . The biggest mistake my younger sister and I made was letting her go home to live with our toxic elder sister. Mom had rehab at my house and made an incredible recovery. She was able to walk with a cane. She was going to out patient rehab and was determined to be completely independent. My mother is a survivor, lost her parents at 8 years old in Poland during Nazi occupation. She has had so much loss in her life, my dad died young and my brother passed away in 2012 after a 7 month battle with cancer. Long sad story, my older sister is a miserable, bitter, lazy person. She's alienated mom from all her grandchildren, and my younger sister and I won't visit when she's home. She has turned mom into a recluse, spends all her money on herself, and left her alone to fall and fracture her spine. Forget walking again, that's not happening. The very chair mom hated has become her best friend. Worst of all, she's brainwashed my mother. I never believed this could happen to anyone! My mom is proof that it can. We have tried everything, adult services wanted to help, but my mother is still considered competent, they didn't know her before. Anyway, if my mom says she gave our sister permission to spend a thousand dollars on Facebook games in week, there is nothing they can do. Meanwhile she has no wheelchair ramp to get out in case of a fire. Sis unplugs those annoying smoke alarms because she smokes 3 packs a day, courtesy of moms atm card. She's never held a job for more than a few months, my mother is just a meal ticket to her. She's a master manipulator, diagnosed borderline personality with narcissism. You would think that it would be impossible for a family member to get away with this, we did. The sad fact is that unless an elderly person is drooling over their plate, or accusing someone of taking financial advantage, there is little you can do but watch and pray that your loved one doesn't end up broke or hurt.

DavelFM be careful "citing" laws. What her sister did was mean not necessarily illegal depending on the circumstances. To the original poster, are you the healthcare and/or financial power of attorney? If you are and your sister is somehow obstructing your ability to care for your mother's needs then you might have a legal case otherwise she is not breaking a law. Perhaps a long term care ombudsmen could help along with some of the suggestions I offered in my previous post. Please give more insight.

Please clarify we can offer suggestions'

How did your sister restrict you from seeing your mom? Restraining order, written directive

You turned them in at APS. And what was the outcome from APS.

sister has restricted me from seeing my Mom
Is that why she is restricting you? That is illegal, talk to APS

Which State is involved?

That is terrible that there is such a family dynamic, as a heads up unless your mother is in some various form of danger APS is not going to be able to help this situation. They are not in place to deal with family dynamics and make your sister allow you to see her. What is she doing to prevent you from seeing her and if I may ask, why? Is there an unbiased person that can act as a mediator? Possibly a friend, pastor, family member that could help you guys resolve some of the issues?

Do you have any communication with your mom? Phone? Who is "they"? Is there someone else in addition to your sister that is causing some difficulty? What health issues/ challenges dies your mom have?

Sharon, can you ask your sister how your mom is doing? How did your sister restrict you from seeing your mom? I think we need more information to help you here. It must be very difficult not to know what is going on with your mother, my heart breaks for you...