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My brother is now in charge and is the main one abusive to her. For years has treated mom like this, and now has girlfriend of 6 months there when he does this to her. Mom says girlfriend sits there smiling while him, other brother and his wife do the same to mom. Making it look like myself and my son were always the bad ones. WRONG. They are trying to keep us away from mom and will do anything to keep others away from mom also. Mom is to scared to say anything, but mom will talk about missing us most of all and then gets screamed at from them. Sister in law and girlfriend telling mom what to do and when to do it. They should not be allowed around mom as mom has never liked daughter in law and says she does not like sons girlfriend. Should police do the right thing and put in a camera, I think they should if requested for mom's safety.

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Candee, I'm sorry I did not see your post until today. Would you like to know about the Drop Cam and how it works?

BadBrothers, you need to get into the police station and ask them specifically what they need to press charges. I would contact that neighbor who has witnessed the incident on the front lawn and have them write a letter, the more proof you have, the greater the chances of them helping you. I would also go to the Adult protective Services and fill them in on everything you have seen. Also if you have a iphone, the video function is an amazing tool. Tape you mother, begin the conversation with her stating she understand she is being taped. I would tell your brothers that you are coming to stay with mom for a while. My mean sisters would run scared, because they know I will not put up with any nonsense where my mom is concerned. It will give you time to get into your mother's head and make her trust you. Are you still POA?
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Thank you for the responses and yes the brother that is the main mean one to mom is the one that tells people he lives there. He did move in his things but for months mom has said he lives with the girlfriend. Yes I have seen brother going to punch mom in the face and telling her he will do it and I did call the police on him. A newer neighbor has seen this brother out on mom's lawn yelling at mom. Police have been told this and they say I need Proof. I do record mom when she has said they are mean to her. Even my son and brother that died 2 years ago had seen it also and I don't know why the police will not do anything. Brother and other brother's wife team up together and yell at mom, and this has been seen also. It is such a shame that this is happening so much and it just seems like you are stuck without any help. I was my mom's POA for years and her caregiver all these years. To put a camera in my mom's house would be hard for us to do as when one brother leaves the other one comes in. Mom has said the girlfriend and sister in law follow mom in the house when she has the phone in her hand. These 2 are not blood and not marked down as a caregiver, and mom should not have to put up with them in her home. Can mom tell them to leave and not come back? Mental health facility are involved but again are believing everything the brother tells them and he is lying right to their faces. That is a true criminal if I say so myself. These brothers are gutless and do things to mom when nobody is around.
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badbrothers, if she won't call the police, I suspect her call to you is to get your sympathy and to get you to come over there and get into a fight. Elders sometimes want to keep you fighting among yourselves, it's their way of being controlling and manipulative. Dementia does strange things.
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Does anyone know if it is legal to have police put in a video camera with mainly audio to hear how mom is being treated by her sons, daughter in law and brothers girlfriend. Mom called me today and you could tell she was upset and had been crying. Someone was in the background and mom would not say what was going on at her place but did more or less say they had been yelling at her. When I again told my mom to call police and let them know she won't call. What do I do when my mom is to scared to call police on them, and the police seem to believe brothers and not me or my son. We have been around mom all these years and they have not. Is there something I could say to my mom to get her to tell the police what they are doing to her?
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I'm listening ilovemom2 (interested to hear your thoughts.)
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My brothers and I had a drop-cam, and we have many video's of others discovering them and turning them off. Many people ask questions on this site. I asked you to give us more information. Before I waste my time, I want to know you are listening, are you?
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The police won't, but you can buy one yourself fairly inexpensively. Couples install cameras all the time to monitor their children, or to monitor the person who watches their children when they are not home. If there is abuse going on and you catch it on camera, and then call protective services, you have a real case (and proof) for a court order to keep them away from her, or at least only allow them there when they are supervised by you or an aide, etc.
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bad brothers, no they will not put a camera in there. What you suggest borders on stalking the family, so don't bring it up with the police, they may have you sent in for psych eval if you do.
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BADBROTHERS, just curious if you have witnessed any of this abuse yourself? Or is this something that your mother is telling you? If it is Mom, please note that elders with memory issues will make up stories and unfortunately those stories are of abuse and of stealing. You never know, maybe Mom is telling your brother that she doesn't want to see you or your son... but will tell you on the phone the opposite... it's the dementia talking.

You need to find out one way or another what is really going on.
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I put a camera in my dad's home (he agreed). I wonder if there is a time when everyone is gone and you could put it in yourself. They are simple, just need to attach it and plug it in. You do need internet experience to use tho as the picture is viewable on a computer or smartphone. It cost $200 and is called Dropcam Pro. My ex SIL lived with dad for 2 years and was all in favor of the camera. Then after it was installed she started "acting weird". Always pointing out to who ever came in the house that "the camera is on" . Well, the camera caught her getting into my dad's wallet and so we kicked her out.

If you cannot put a camera in the house maybe you could just record mom's calls to you. If she expresses fear or abuse then you would have some evidence that she needs help. You would need moms permission to record her but it sounds like that would be simple. Just say 'hey, mom, I'm recording your call, ok?" (might even say something like " so I can remember what you said". (there are laws regarding recording people without permission so I'd check your state laws to see what it says)

Just my thoughts. Hope it helps.
Janet
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Police will not place a camera. Though there are camera systems available at stores lik Best Buy that could be installed in the house. Call Adult Protective Services for help. Names of the person requesting the investigation are kept confidental.
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Your mom has dementia. When you were caring for her at home, did she tell your brother's that you were abusing her?

If you are certain that there is actually verbal and/or physical abuse occuring, then you need to get this information to mom's doctors and to Adult Protective Services. And your mother should almost certainly be in a facility. Has the family looked into that?
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As the others have said, no, the police will not hide a camera in your mothers home. Do either of your brothers live with your mom or have Power of Attorney?
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The police aren't going to put a camera in your mom's home. I agree that you should call Adult Protective Services and report your brother.
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The police aren't going to put a camera in the home. You need to call the Adult Protective Services in your area. Share your concerns. You is your mom's power of attorney?
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