As well as costly, a situation where a highly dependent elder is living alone with hired professionals always gives me pause. Most of the people working in these roles will be completely trustworthy, but what about the few who aren't? She'd be in real trouble if she had the bad luck to encounter one. At least in a residential setting there is a whole team of people involved in her care.
I can't say if this would work for your mother, but when my great aunt reached a crisis we persuaded her to move "temporarily" to a nursing home. We weren't actually being disingenuous: there was a prospect, even though faint, of her being able to go home once the crisis had passed, although in fact that never became possible.
So if your mother has very recently been widowed, perhaps she might be open to the idea of staying for the time being in a place where lots of people and lots of amenities will be available to help her through the early days. Then you can continue to discuss options with her and make a long term plan without her feeling that she's being packed up and put into storage with unseemly haste.
One suggestion is to contact your local council on aging.... if you live in the States, go to the website link below.... click on your State.... now click on the city/county. The agency should be able to direct you.
You need to go talk to the administrator or the admitting officer at the NH. Are there any assets, such as the husband's life insurance? His pension? His soc. sec.? If she is truly impoverished, she should be eligible for medicaid.
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I can't say if this would work for your mother, but when my great aunt reached a crisis we persuaded her to move "temporarily" to a nursing home. We weren't actually being disingenuous: there was a prospect, even though faint, of her being able to go home once the crisis had passed, although in fact that never became possible.
So if your mother has very recently been widowed, perhaps she might be open to the idea of staying for the time being in a place where lots of people and lots of amenities will be available to help her through the early days. Then you can continue to discuss options with her and make a long term plan without her feeling that she's being packed up and put into storage with unseemly haste.
https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging
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