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answry Asked February 2015

Are these my only options?

I need ideas. It is kind of an emergency. I just found out that one of my parents do not have enough coverage for a very basic funeral. Loans are also on these policies. Agent says once this parent makes 81, they will not write a new policy. Called a few other companies and they will not write at 80. We have three months to get something in place. Between the two incomes they take in less than $1200. After expenses they receive just over $120 a piece for the month.

I am trying to find the money to cover this extra policy without reducing their take home pay. Idea one: rid home phone and get cell phone. Idea two: lower ifire policy. Cancel accident policy . I do not see any other expense that can be lowered unless I no longer pay credit cards. But you know the creditors will drive them nuts and then they will drive me nuts.

xxxxxxxx Mar 2015
There are plans available from AT&T and probably other phone companies that are income based, that would reduce the monthly cost of telephone service. Please investigate that option.

Even with all the advances in cell phones and GPS, 911 service is unreliable from a cell phone, to say nothing of cell service in general. Cell calls are routed to different towers on a need base, and those towers send the signal to their local 911 operators. Might even be in the next county. Not good in an emergency situation.

Please consider cremation.

If they have credit card debt that they cannot comfortably pay, first you need to take the cards away for awhile. Then you need to call the companies that issued the cards and see if you can negotiate a lower payment schedule. Sometimes they will do that once, as good will.

What kind of accident insurance policy are you referring to? Auto? Home?

Look for things that can be sold for quick money. It's too cold for a garage sale, but perhaps you could use Craig'sList?

Rather than look into buying an insurance policy for burial, go to the funeral home and see what they have in the way of pre-paid plans. You can select low cost options.

Good Luck!

igloo572 Mar 2015
It sounds like dealing with burial /FH issues is just a bandaid on a larger issue. You really need to get a handle on just what debt exposure your parents have placed themselves in for family. It's hard but your are just going to have to figure this out. And the find all the details on their income - perhaps tell them a fib that you are going to file taxes for them to get a fat refund but you need to do a accurate list of income & assets to do this. You keep all this for the future for when you file for and establish guardianship. You want to show that other family are NOT suitable to be guardian & have paperwork to show how they got parents to pay for their debts. I mention guardianship as I'd bet just being DPOA won't work as they are going to be a soft touch to your siblings, nephews, etc. And the DPOA can't stop them.

It's almost impossible to get everbody to change the set pattern of enabling. You or someone else in the family is just going to have to draw the line on the draining of parents assets and will need to have guardianship to do this. Good luck - its not going to be easy. But make it your mantra that "all this is needed for mom & dads future security".

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thezookeeper Feb 2015
You have good reason to be angry then. It sounds like you are going to need to convince them to hand everything over to you now, regardless of whether they believe they are still competent or not. You won't be able to keep them on that strict budget, if everyone keeps digging their hands into their pockets, and mom and dad aren't going to change their habits. These same people that are taking now will be first in line when they think there's an estate to split. Won't they get their just desserts when you tell them the money was all spent on your parent's care? That's when your anger will be healed and their's will begin.

answry Feb 2015
Thanks everyone. But you know what, this all makes me angry. I have siblings and nephews that are takers. However, I cannot get them or my parents to stop what they have done for so long. They are co-signing on loans, signing loans to save siblings from disconnections/evictions and then paying the loans, loaning money out the bit they have left, providing basically free housing which increases their utilities and then I to go asking for utility assistance. I also think before I took over that all of their money was being taken away. Dad, keeps asking how am I getting this much back now. Anyway, I got the loan papers today from the insurance and it say the loans were to pay the insurance premiums. I have asked for blocks to no longer borrow on the policies.

thezookeeper Feb 2015
I am sure the cell would cost more than a landline, too. Plan on having cheaper funerals. You can hold a car wash to raise the money to cover what their policies will not cover. There are so many ways to raise money to bury people! If there are other immediate family members and you have no other source to fund the funeral, then by gosh tell them they need to chip in, or they will not be invited. After all, the funeral really isn't for the dead, it's for the living. And really not essential. Their money would be better spent on the quality of life they have now. You can even bury a Roman Catholic for free, if you look in the right places and stick to only the essential ceremonies. And the Catholic burial rites, composed of at least 3 distinct parts or ceremonies, are usually the most elaborate and costly. So if I can bury a Catholic parent for next to nothing, you can bury your parents, too, with whatever resources they have. You are expecting them to LIVE within their means, so they are just going to have to be buried within their means, too. You have more important things to worry about now -- like keeping them within what seems to be a very tight budget.

freqflyer Feb 2015
Elderly people have trouble using cellphones, heck even I have trouble using one. Plus an elderly person would misplace the cellphone and have trouble finding it if need to use.

Thus, never ever remove a landline from an elder's house. Anytime someone calls 911 using a landline the home address shows up seconds after the dispatcher answers the phone, and the EMT's are on their way over to the house while you are still on the phone.

With a cellphone, if your parents calls 911, the dispatcher may not know where the call is coming from, and what if your parent had a stroke and can't give clear information. It is very difficult to trace a location of a cellphone... I know there is new technology out there, but it probably is in the more expensive cellphones. When it comes to an emergency, like a heart attack, seconds count.

answry Feb 2015
jeannegibbs: Option 1 is definitely out. Option 2: I cannot get a straight answer from any of them.

pamstegma: Even after the loans, one of them will not have enough coverage.

So as much as I do not want to change from a land phone, this is the only place that will help us the most.

Sigh

pamstegma Feb 2015
The loans are only against the cash value of the policy which will be only a fraction of the death benefit. A small fraction. Read the policies for the full details.

jeannegibbs Feb 2015
Would your parents consider donating their bodies for science? Is there a university or teaching hospital in your area that takes such donations?

Sometimes remaining family take care of the final expenses. Is there more family than just you who could/would split the costs?

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