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fligirl58 Asked February 2015

My Mom has a UTI and started saying this was not her house and that we are just staying here. I don't understand this?

Every day it's the same discussion. She wants to go home. She has been on a antibiotic for five days and she is still saying the same thing I went to my first support group today and they said that she wants to go back to her childhood home which was an orphanage. When I got back today our caregiver met me at the door saying she was packing. Well all she was doing was going through her purse drawer. I gave her a Xanax because she was shaking and she calmed down and ate, then we put the purses back. She in her room which she says is not her room going through more drawers. I really thought the antibiotic would stop all this talk about moving. I don't know what to do. It's quite upsetting

fligirl58 Feb 2015
I appreciate your comments but last night I almost list it. Mom was really afraid the police were going to come and take us to jail because we were staying in someone else's house. I talked to the doctor, he said that moms infection was gone and she is just declining. I asked her if she wanted me to sleep with her and she said yes. She got up to close and lock the bedroom door. I felt so bad for her she refused to take her meds because she does not trust me.

I gave her some Xanax per the doctors instructions and she finally fell asleep. It took forever and in the meantime her hands were shaking so much she kept waking me up. She thinks this is a motel and she wanted to go across the street to her home I finally woke again and came to my room at 3:30. I am so worried that last night is going to happen every night. Now I understand how you all are so exhausted

anonymous144432 Feb 2015
fligirl, my mom does the moving discussion at least once a day. That or "this isn't my bedroom" or "not my purse/billfold." (I'd think she might have a UTI if she didn't bring up at least one of the above daily/nightly). Or "when is that girl (me) coming to pick me up?" or when very angry, "this is MY house and you can just get the h*ll out of here" or where's my car/car keys." Even enroute home from wherever, she's digging for keys. We get out almost daily for an hour or two weather permitting, which she always enjoys (even trips to the doctor), but it's always the same no matter what time we return home. The house she's referring to is the one she lived in with my dad for 20 years and not the one we kids grew up in (she doesn't remember that one) or her childhood home.

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Luna43 Feb 2015
UTI's can really make them very confused and confusing to you as the caretaker. They get easily frustrated and just want to get out of the situation they are in. You have to be very careful with UTI's as they can get really bad really fast. My mother was diagnosed with UTI and then less than a day later it had worsened so bad she was admitted to hospital. Needless to say lots of IV antibiotics and a few days later and she was doing a bit better. The leaving to "Go home" will be an ongoing thing most likely. My mother still packs her purse up to this day. Talks about going to the corner store and other things from the past. It isn't anything you are doing. She's just trying to live normally still. Have some independence. Just keep watch and make sure they don't wander off. Hope it helps a lil bit to know you're not the only one experiencing these things.

fligirl58 Feb 2015
Thanks

jeannegibbs Feb 2015
Personally I don't think your mother wants to go home to an orphanage. The explanation that makes most sense to me is that this strong desire to "go home" is a longing to go back to when the world made sense, when they were their "normal" selves. As you seem to have discovered at the support group, this is a common occurrence in dementia. My husband went through packing his bag and waiting for the train or bus frequently. For him this lasted several weeks and then seemed to drop out of his symptom set. BTW, my husband did not have a uti or other acute condition while this was going on.

Definitely report this to her doctor, as you should report any change in symptoms. It may or may not be related to the uti.

pamstegma Feb 2015
Call the MD and report this, he may want you to check her for dehydration or he may want to stop the antibiotic.

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