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Nikkiforget Asked January 2015

My husband wants to take his Mom out for lunch from the nursing home. Does he have rights?

His father and brother have a problem with it.

lsmiami Jan 2015
Most facilities have grounds for strolls. I think going outdoors is great for the mind, but it may depend on the weather. Can you do an indoor or outdoor picnic on the facility grounds?

Share a nice treat from her favorite restaurant or home made. She many not be safely away from medical attention - so bring the good time to her. Can she play cards, or review family pictures?

Is you husband truly capable of taking her out - helping her walk - assisting to or at the bathroom? Taking care of a patient is a commitment. Dad and sibling may be worried for a good reason. Above all, do not let a difference of opinion on a matter that is worthy of different perspectives cause a rift at a time when unity and support are most needed.

Best of luck to you

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2015
Tell us what the problem really is, without using the word "rights". Instead, use the word "right",as in, "what's right for mom".

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gladimhere Jan 2015
Maybe it would be just too hard on her. Does she have dementia. If she is having some adjustment issues it would be wise to leave her there. How about if he were to ask Dad if he could bring something in special for dinner once in awhile. If she is not eating, then do it for Dad. I wouod think it would be appreciated.

jeannegibbs Jan 2015
Why does his father have a problem with it, do you know? Does he not want her to leave the building at all? Does the other son take her out for lunch?

I doubt that your husband has "the right" to take her out against her husband's wishes, but I would hope a peaceful resolution could be reached. What if your husband took both Mom and Dad out for lunch? Would that work?

If the problem is with her leaving the NH, how about lunch together in the NH? Sometimes we eat with my mother in the NH in the dining room, chatting with the other residents at the table. Sometimes we eat alone with her in a community room. The staff is happy to bring in trays for us -- they encourage family visits. Sometimes we bring in fast food and eat with Mom in a community room.

I hope that your husband can find ways to have lunch with his mother without causing difficulties with his father and brother.

notrydoyoda Jan 2015
The nursing home where my mother was would not let my step-dad take her out because she was ambulatory and would not have been able to sit up in a car seat. He was interested in more than just taking her out. He wanted to take her home although he had been told that she was not a safe discharge and home nor him was in any kind of shape for her to go to.

pamstegma Jan 2015
A husband has first rights over his wife, in any country, culture or court.

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