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karenr1 Asked December 2014

Brought husband home and it is overwhelming. Did I make a mistake?

Brought him home after 3 mo. where he suffered a stroke-expressive aphasia. He was first in hospital then went to skilled nh---thought he was getting better, came home --very angry(mainly about meds) always crying,expects to be waited on. I'm afraid to leave him alone, but I have things to do to.I keep waiting to see if things will change(i.e.speech therapy,physical etc)but am at wits end--i am not in good health as well and i'm feeling very overwhelmed but love him..His corodid arteries are 80% and 100% clogged.they say he's not a candidate for surg.he"s only 58-I jusst dont want to ship him off to another place to be forgotten about--he's ALWAYS been there for me no matter what.He's just not there anymore.....Any advice Should I send to a alf?

Chicago1954 Dec 2014
You can't do this alone. Bring some help into the house, now. Where will your husband end up, if you die taking care of him? 58 is younger than I am. I feel sorry for him. He can't even draw Soc. Sec., yet. Is he on disability?

He might not be a candidate for AL. It seems like he needs total care. If his health improves, would he be a candidate for surgery?

How did this happen to him?

freqflyer Dec 2014
Of course your husband is angry, he's not able to do everything he did prior to the stroke. He's upset with himself, we would all feel the same way if we had a similar stroke.

Your husband has his young age on his side, thus with the right physical therapy and speech therapy he should be able to pull himself out of this stroke, but it won't happen overnight, it could take some time. I would get a second opinion regarding putting stents into his arteries.

If he does need to go back to assistant living where he would have daily physical/speech therapy it might be the best thing for him. Why would he be forgotten? You could go there daily, maybe have lunch and/or dinner with him.

By the way, he is still there for you. Just being in the same room should bring you some comfort that you are not alone.... let him know that.

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