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Marialake Asked November 2014

Why won't she speak to me?

My MIL has end stage alzheimers. She is not good at coming up with a lot of words BUT she responds to and answers visitors.

She will not respond to me. I try to guess her needs and try to be kind and engaging but I am up against a brick wall.
Is she mad at me? Do I represent her helplessness? I've try to kindly discuss her feelings and mine..............but her lips are tightly set and I'm left to guess. Usually I guess she must hate me or something. Just being honest.

pamstegma Nov 2014
She just can't find the words. Read her eyes, keep yours at the same level as hers, hold her hand. Eyes tell it all. She's not angry at anyone but Alzheimer's. She hates her loss of independence and mobility. She hates being a burden. Kiss her cheek and be good with that.

freqflyer Nov 2014
Marialake, is it possible your mother-in-law might have a hearing issue? Thus the reason she can hear visitors is because their voice range is deeper or louder than yours, thus she can hear what they are saying, but cannot hear you.

My Mom has trouble hearing me because I have a tiny voice, but she can hear my sig other.

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BarbBrooklyn Nov 2014
Maria, I feel so for you! Have you looked into Hospice for your MIL? This might give her and you the comfort at this trying time. If I were you, I wouldn't read too much into her actions at this time. Prayers and good thoughts for you and MIL!

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