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Pumpkin69 Asked November 2014

How do you keep the clothes from being on the wrong side of the closet?

My mom with dementia is so confused. It is hard for her to share a closet. My mom recently went to a nursing home. She is 84 with dementia. She shares a room with someone in the nursing home. My mom doesn't have as much space as her roommate. They share a closet, and my mom thinks that she is going home. So, my mom packs her things in a laundry basket and her roommate's clothes are in the basket too. My mom also puts her stuff on her roommate's side. Also, my mom is missing her dentures and the phone is missing too. I feel like every time that I go to see my mom, the clothes are always mixed up, because my mom is so confused. I don't know what to do? My mom shouldn't share a closet with someone because of her dementia.

surprise Nov 2014
Mthr was a hoarder at home, and her purse was as heavy as a kettle bell. We put a walker bag on hers, but she stuffed it so full that the walker fell over and staff (I guess) removed it. I think MaryAnn has it now. My daughters and I plan to paint a new walker bag this weekend with her name in her college colors and hope that she keeps it this time!

anonymous158299 Nov 2014
" rummaging " , " OCD " .
AAAAGH . having flashbacks here . lol
aunt has stopped rummaging . attaching a goodwill store purse to her wheelchair arm seemed to give her a " proper " place for everything from chapstick to month old cookies .

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amanda0788 Nov 2014
Unfortunately, a lot of able bodied people who suffer from dementia or Alzheimer's disease always have the notion they are "going home". I work in a nursing home, and have a grandfather in another one with Alzheimer's, and from 1st hand experience can say this phase will pass, and the only way to ensure everyone has the proper things is to make sure all items are labelled properly. I can relate as well, we have bought my grandfather 2 new cell phones in less than 6 months, one time laundry washed it... (sigh, this is purely avoidable), but in a dementia care unit, people are bound to wander, it is up to the staff to keep things like dentures and phones from wandering hands.

pamstegma Nov 2014
It's called rummaging, a phase of dementia that is like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is treatable with proper meds. Get the Rx.

Sunnygirl1 Nov 2014
I gave up on trying to sort out clothes issues. I label every item with her name, but I have no idea what laundry will do with it. I used to fold and sort every week, but it was a waste of time.

My loved one is totally unable to sort or even recognize most of her clothing. She loves her purple jacket and soft black jacket, but other than that, she has no memory of what clothing she has. The staff suggest outfits and that's what she wears.

At her former ALF, I would see her in someone else's clothes, but I haven't in the new Memory Care Unit. But, if it does happen, I'll just accept it.

I have talked to many families who have members in facilities and they ALL have problems with disappearing or mixed up items. I've accepted it.

surprise Nov 2014
There is a new resident in mthr's memory care home, and she is borrowing everyone's things, packing them up, and waiting by the door for her ride home. As long as mthr's happy, I'm happy, so if some of the cheap t shirts and pants I have for mthr end up in MaryAnn's suitcase, I'm ok. The staff washes clothes, and if they see someone else's name, they will pull the item.

I'm just not going to worry about it as long as the other people are ok with it. Our demented parents' boundaries are not the same as our boundaries.

Eyerishlass Nov 2014
When my dad went into a facility I bought him several nice, new shirts. They disappeared within days. So I began to bring my dad's clothes home so I could wash them but often they'd sit out in the car while I was at work and the smell got into my car so that didn't work. Then I tried washing his clothes myself while I visited him (I used the facility's laundry room) but often times all the washers and dryers were taken. Finally, I gave up trying to control the situation. I quit buying him expensive shirts and bought him shirts from Walmart and just let the facility wash his clothes. I think everyone was happier this way and I didn't go insane.

geewiz Nov 2014
Hi Pumpkin, are these findings a result of your Mom's actions or the aides at the NH? Either way, checking things out are why family visits are so important. Despite their best efforts, the aides where my Mom was in Memory care, clothing got mixed up. I presume you have your Mom's name in each article. But still things get mixed up. Each visit I would sort through the closet and dresser. If things were missing, I would ask and the aides would look for it. Sometimes it was found in the laundry room, other times items were found in other resident's rooms, they were all private rooms. Some residents would take items ... they were all suffering from dementia. You might try different color hangars for your Mom's items but I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope. Just keep asking. Another trick (if you visit often). Keep most of your Mom's stuff at your place. Each visit, bring some of the items from your place and rotate her belongings. Just leave some clothes there. It will pare down the selections for ease of dressing AND reduce the possibility of missing too many things.

BarbBrooklyn Nov 2014
Talk to the director of social work. Canyou hang a bright piece of fabric from a hangar down the mmiddle of the closet? Or how about colored duct tape on the closet shelf, indicating mom's side.

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