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sg2000 Asked October 2014

My sister is threatening me with court over Mom. Advice?

My sister hired a lawyer to send me a threatening letter that I wrongfully cut her out of my mother's healthcare and I have abused my powers as a Durable Power of Attorney. My sister is claiming my mother named her a Co-Agent in my mother's healthcare (which she did not). My sister was named an Alternate at one point, but she never had access to my mother's medical and financial records.

In my state, Massachusetts, I found out there is no such position as a "Co-Agent" in healthcare. I asked her lawyer for proof that she is the Co-Agent, and did not receive a response. I did however, receive a letter that they are prepared to file some sort of protection or relief in court. What grounds can they seek a protection on? Don't these things need proof? And isn't this defaming my character?

pamstegma Oct 2014
I agree, as DPOA, you could have and should have reported the fraudulent signing over of her house, a formal complaint. Fact is if Mom needs Medicaid within five years, they won't pay unless there is a criminal complaint against your sister and an attempt to get the money back. Let her sue for Guardianship, no Judge will award it to her after she bought the house for a dollar and sold it for a profit. Tell her you'll see her in court.

pamstegma Oct 2014
You don't have to let anyone in your house. See her in court.
Get the medical records that prove mom was incompetent at the time of the signing. Get the house sale records. Get all Mom's bank records. Then ask the DA and not the police, to investigate a case of elder abuse, fraud and punish the offenders. Prosecutors don't cost you a dime.

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Eyerishlass Oct 2014
Defamation occurs when someone makes a false statement, written or spoken, that is designed to ruin someone's reputation. It's a civil matter, not criminal, and you would have to prove that what she said has damaged your reputation.

What did the letter from the attorney say? I know it said you were abusing your powers as DPOA but what did the letter say you had to do?

They're filing for some sort of protection? Or relief? What does that mean? Is your sister trying to get guardianship over your mom?

I think you need to get an attorney.

irishboy Oct 2014
Sorry this is happening to you.

As others have said you and your other siblings need to see this sister facing charges. She committed fraud, IDK who you're talking to with this "the police won't do much", you need to pursue this, no one in their right mind sells their home for a $1.

If you keep going until you find someone who will handle this.

Get all the paperwork you can on this, the timeline, when you were forced out of the house, and go after her.

Forget about an apology, you won't get one. And you don't have to let her in YOUR HOME, I would call the police if she shows up and won't leave. Get a restraining order against her.

You need to stop handling this like you're dealing with a rational person, you're not.

Just from reading your comments I can tell(I know because it is normal and tried this mindset with my own brother until I realized I wasn't dealing with a logical person) you're looking at this as "why is she like this?", throw that out the window, accept she is a monster and act accordingly.

Good luck.

Countrymouse Oct 2014
Oo.

Going through lawyers sounds like a very expensive way of communicating. What, actually, is your sister's beef?

BarbBrooklyn Oct 2014
It sounds to me as though your sister is preparing to file for guardianship. Is mom competent? Does Mom have a lawyer? Your sister's lawyer is not going to answer to your questions. Call your sister, nicely, and ask her what it is that she wants, how you guys can settle this amicably. Does she want to come to doc appointments, does she want to know how mom's money is being spent? Find out. From her.

jeannegibbs Oct 2014
"See ya in court, Sis."

MaggieMarshall Oct 2014
"Tell me what you want, and let's work this out. I'll be spending mom's money on my lawyers. You'll be spending your own. Is that really what you want to do? If you want to communicate with me directly, I'd be happy to hear from you. Tell your lawyer I want no further communiques from him, and, if that's what you want? I'll see him and you in court."

Return her attorney's letters "to sender" unopened.

If you've done something wrong with your mom's money yourself? Be worried. If not, call her bluff.

vstefans Oct 2014
Ask your lawyer what is the next step and whether APS or police should be involved. It sounds like you have ducks in a row and she is desperately trying to bully you into letting her keep her Ill gotten gains, and has either found herself an unethical lawyer willing to help her, or has lied to an ethical one. If the facts and evidence you have are correct, she can't win this.

sunflo2 Oct 2014
I would add acouple things.
1. Find the sale date of the house and any eviction. Also, locate any doctor visits on or about that time within 6 mo prior. If dr diagnosed cognitive impairment, early dementia, etc.; then you would have proof that sis took advantage of the estate.
2. You have POA, so you are in the clear. You have plenty of substantiation for the care you have provided since eviction.
3. Use this documentation should you be called to court.
4. I wouldn't hire a lawyer as this is a ridiculous suit and in my mind, your sis just got an attorney to send you a scary lawyer letter meant to scare you.

A judge will likely throw this out of court or have an independent evaluation if your mothers health or assets are believed to be at risk under your care.

Honor your sisters request to not communicate with her directly. You might want to bait her with a calendar and have her pick all her visitation dates and times. Hopefully, you can accommodate most of them, then hold sis to them...if she misses, changes, etc...document it and take it to court with you.

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