How can I convince the nursing home that dementia is long term, skilled care?

My husband's income was over the limit, too, so he had a monthly "spend down" amount to qualify for in-home services. Have you discussed your mother's situation with an elder law attorney? They know the ins and outs and exceptions of the Medicaid policies in their states.

Assisted Living is a better choice but she can't get Medicaid for AL due to her social security being about a hundred dollars over the limit.

Would Assisted Living be more appropriate at this time than skilled nursing care?

thanks for all the thoughts to use. basically she can feed herself once I prepare it. she can walk unattended but needs serious help with EVERYTHING else!

It's all about the Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). If a person can do these, even if they can't reason their way out of a paper bag, they don't need round the clock care. Try arguing from the point "is a danger to herself and others".

Maybe you are thinking of Memory Care? Does she wander away?
Or Assisted Living, if she is social and won't wander off?

I had trouble getting help for my mom as well because she is physically in very good health, but she can't pay bills, or remember to take her medications, wash her hair, eat, drink water, etc, etc. not sure what type of aide you qualify for, but my mother qualifies for Medicaid. I just had to get to talk with the right social worker who put some services in place. The problem I've had is then you have to stay on top of it to make sure you're getting the services and managing time, my job, my life and my moms bills, needs, wants is an issue. Sometimes I wonder if they bill medicaid for things they don't provide.