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jean26 Asked July 2014

I have an aunt who can no longer drive and is in need of some companionship. Any advice?

She's living in Haydenville. She is still functioning, as in cleaning her own home and doing things around the house, but when I went to visit her this last time, I noticed that she appeared to be sundowning somewhat. While there I took her out and then we walked around the block and she seemed to be a little better. She will be 88 next month and is very independent and outspoken. i don't now how your arrangements are, but I feel that just to have someone come in that she can converse with and maybe take her out to lunch or dinner or to Walmart or the Big Y occasionally would benefit her. I am presently at work .

sherry1anne Aug 2014
I posted, but I did not give the web site. It's care I paid $25 to join and see caregivers who post to the site. They also offer a background check service for an extra charge of $50 - $300 depending on how much background you want to check out. I have a lovely lady who is moving into our spare bedroom week after next (as soon as we get the new flooring installed). She is charging me $10 per hour to come in days right now. I can hardly wait for her to move in. She feels like family and she is chatty and funny and my mother loves talking to her. I'm telling you - this is a posting location that caregivers register onto. YOu do your own interview and decide if you like them (unlike agencies who send out a lump who sits on the couch and watches TV or worse).

GardenArtist Aug 2014
Emma, if you read the TOS, I believe you'll find that no direct advertising is allowed. IKOR is a company in the field as well, but its post is slanted more toward dealing with as well as accountability of agencies providing these services. It's not a pitch for business.

I think you're new so you may not be aware of this restriction.

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EmmaDickison1 Aug 2014
Seniors need social interaction and intellectual stimulation to stay positive and engaged. Getting out in the fresh air, taking walks, and doing an activity they enjoy gives seniors a sense of purpose. It sounds like your aunt is still strong and sharp, but you might need a just little extra assistance. Home care is a great option for you to consider. Hiring a caregiver for companion care services can allow your aunt to continue living independently in her home, and will give you the peace of mind that comes with knowing she is being well taken care of by a skilled caregiver.

IKORWPA Aug 2014
What SuzieQ mentions can happen but hold the agency accountable to what is expected. I usually use the big national companion services and I follow up on the care that is administered, having them fill out a book each visit with what they done and I create a routine list of activities to complete and part of that includes at least 1.5- 2 hours of social interaction like games or a walk. It's not that I have not experienced what Suzi q says, I have but when I have addressed it with the agency it is always more than resolved.

SuzieQQQ Aug 2014
Be careful with those companies sending 5/hr help....or cheap help.

I got one for $18/hr and all the girl did was sit on the couch and played with her phone. I guess she didn't think my mom needed any help. I'm back to square one.

Someone at work told me that their dad (not sure where he lives), gets a person from an agency for $28 each visit, 3x a week. Usually the person checks on him, spends 20-30 minutes with him. It's like a social visit with an errand.Talks with him. Does an entire house check for things working properly, the heat or AC....reports to the family if something isn't right.
-one errand may be included on the way to his house (picking up medication at a pharmacy) if it's within a certain distance from his house. If large groceries are included, it's more money because of extra time...

I think that is ideal for someone who needs minimal help. Many times elderly will not tell their kids stuff, until it's too late. I also think that this type of service FORCES the visitor to actually work, instead of sitting and watching TV. I wish I could find something like that.

IKORWPA Aug 2014
If she can afford it hiring a companion service for schedule visits is one of the best solutions I have used with clients like your aunt. 3-4 hours two or three hours a week usually make a great difference or if she can not afford this a couple half days at adult daycare for socialization can work wonders as well. Volunteers are nice but usually are not as consistent as she might need to keep her connected. If she can afford the companion route use an agency that is well established and does background check. Calling your area aging department for resources or a Geriatric Care Manager her area for more resources can help. Most Geriatric Care Managers will give you free consult on what is available in the area or resources even if you do not engage their services.

sherry1anne Aug 2014
I got a companion from care. I'm very pleased. The lady is pleasant, funny and likes to help out in the house. at care.com they have companions listed from $5 - $50 per hour. My companion for my mom charges $10 per hour and she's moving in with us in my in-law suite. I couldn't be happier. it keeps mother entertained, her laundry is done and the kitchen is clean. I don't have to worry about her meals. Her companion even went to the vegetable garden and helped her out there. She is a godsend. They have people who will come for a few hours a week all the way to live in, with skill levels from companion to RN. They service most US cities.

GardenArtist Aug 2014
Jean, this forum is for advice seekers and givers. It doesn't provide services (except for the advertisers) and isn't in a position to provide someone for your aunt.

Does she know any of her neighbors so that might be able to get together occasionally? Does she go to church, have any special interests such as gardening or crafts that she could discuss with a local club for those interests? The senior center would also be a good resource.

freqflyer Aug 2014
Jean, would your Aunt like to live in an independent living facility? One big positive note, your Aunt would be with people closer to her age group who are also independent. Look at all the new best friends she could make :)

RonnieBray Aug 2014
Is there a local church that has volunteers that go and sit and talk to shut-ins on a regular basis?

If so, that would certainly help.

If she could be persuaded to tell her life story into a tape recorder that would be a grand legacy to leave for her descendants and family.

Sometimes we are only curtailed from helping by our imaginations.

Good luck.

pamstegma Jul 2014
Contact her county office of the aging or the nearest senior center for help. You can also go up to the "search site" box and enter her city and state for answers

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