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tallen124 Asked July 2014

Can my wife be compensated for taking care of her Dad at our house?

we have my 94 yr old father in law is in a nursung home, we would like to bring him to our house because the care he is receiving is horrible. But to do this my wife has to quit her job. we are paying $ 10,000.00 a month for the nursing home. Can she be compensated for loss of wages? He has been in the nursing home for 6 months and has been totally neglected. I've been going everyday and have complained about the care and nothing is done until they send him to the hospital for the the exact things i complained about weeks earlier. This week he went from weighting 131 to 113 in three days and no one had the scents to find out why until we brought it to there attention.We would hire home care to help. Can she be compensated for loss wages? Thanks

jeannegibbs Jul 2014
A daughter-in-law can be paid, for caregiving (not for lost wages). It depends on who is doing the paying -- Medicaid? Your dad? Some other insurance or agency? Each will have its own rules about amount and requirements.

Before you consider bringing him into your house, please explore all options for making his life better where he is. Or consider changing nursing homes.

Please consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law to set up the in-home care agreements if you do bring Dad into your home.

akdaughter Jul 2014
Who is paying the $10,000 per month now? If FIL is paying from his own funds, and there are still funds remaining, an attorney can prepare a care contract so that your wife could be paid. The contract is important so that any money that changes hands will not be seen as a gift which would cause problems if FIL needs Medicaid in the future. If FIL is already on Medicaid, check with his contact person to see if your wife could be paid. In my state, the program is "the money follows the person" wherein Medicaid continues to pay for some services for a person who is able to return home from a nursing home. You might get further information about programs available in your area from your Area Agency on Aging, which is called Aging Partners in some cities.

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freqflyer Jul 2014
tallen124, I was glad to read that you will be hiring a home care person to help. If you are hiring just one person, that will leave 16 hours not covered, I assume your wife AND you will take those two shifts? This will not be easy, it could turn into 24 hour care, to which you would need to hire more help, as your wife and you will get burnt out very quickly, or even sick. Then you could be faced with a waiting list to get your Dad back into a facility.

What is the medical issue with your Dad? Is he mobile, if yes, then you will need to elder proof your home. If he falls, will your wife be able to pick him up? Even though he doesn't weight much, it can still be difficult and back breaking to pick him up.

I am curious, how did your Dad lose 18 pounds in 3 days?

The only way you wife could be compensated is if she used her FMLA [up to 12 weeks] and only if her company has bought insurance on their employees to give to them when they use FMLA.... not every company offers this. Plus one needs to qualify to use FMLA.

pamstegma Jul 2014
Nope, no comp for lost wages. Keep working. As for Dad, get to know the nursing staff and stay on their good side. Call them every day for an update. If things don't get done, ask to see the Head Nurse. If that does not work, see the Director, If that does not work, ask for the Ombudsman. Be sure you document dates, times and who you spoke to.
Instead of your wife quitting, perhaps you could take a month of FMLA leave and be at the nursing home every day, all day, seven days a week.

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