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mbld3207 Asked June 2014

How can I stop my Mom from driving?

My mom, who is 87 years old is, of course, slowing way down. She is has a car and is still driving about once a week, but I don't think she should be. Her reactions are very slow, and she shuffles when she walks. Has most likely had a few small strokes. How can I stop her driving? She lives with her sister, who is happy to take her anywhere she needs to go.

anonymous158299 Jun 2014
i agree , dusty . and like babysitting for a toddler this is indeed your " watch " .

pamstegma Jun 2014
The issue as I see it, is "her reactions are very slow" which is the main reasons we took mom's car away. Her neurosurgeon said she should not drive and she was quite defiant, claiming he never said that. She tried to get her primary to say it was OK, she tried to get her opthamologist to say it was OK.
Seeing she would not give in, we removed the vehicle. We did not give it back. Several months later she agreed to sell the car.

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freqflyer Jun 2014
Rovana, yes I remember that elder man. And I can understand your concern, and I agree in part.

But age shouldn't be an issue, as long as they are still safe drivers. Accidents can happen at any age.

Anyone brave enough to tell Clint Eastwood or Sean Connery they are too old to drive ;)

rovana Jun 2014
freqflyer - remember that old man in Santa Monica who slaughtered all those people at a street market? He was probably considered ok to drive by his family, until one fine day he obviously wasn't safe. I think there is a tendency not to interfere as long as family can somehow convince themselves, "well he gets there safely" - but how many other drivers have had to save him and themselves from his mistakes? I say please err on the side of caution. I like the idea of an evaluation - ideally all of us would do this from time to time to note and correct sloppy habits, etc. But isn't the inconvenience of having to find other transportation less important than saving lives? Because, that is what is at stake here.

vstefans Jun 2014
Here in Little Rock I know of places you can get a behind the wheel specialist OT evaluation for how someone is driving. That way you could make sure you are right - some people who have trouble waking are OK driving, and some are not. Is she likely to accept an evaluator's verdict on this?

freqflyer Jun 2014
lwb, I would let your Mom drive as long as she can get from point A to point B safely where there is very little traffic. And as long as she hasn't had any fender benders that were her fault. Shuffling while she walks shouldn't be an issue as long as she can still use the gas pedal and brake correctly. There are plenty of people, no matter what age, who have issues with walking and still drive.

It is good that her sister can drive her anywhere. You wouldn't want to be the only *driver* as that can become very time consuming.

pamstegma Jun 2014
You take the car away for "repairs" and it never comes back. OR you write a letter to your state DMV and report an impaired driver. You may actually have to do both, depending how stubborn she is. I don't suppose you could get her MD to talk to her?

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