How many days a week should I play cards or golf as caregiver to my wife of 60 years totally dependent on me?

My boss plays golf once a week, and if the weather isn't good he goes to the 19 hole to be with his friends all day.... and he's been caring for his wife for many years, who has Alzheimer's. When he's not home, he has a caregiver taking care of her.

As for playing cards, if it is with a group of friends do you rotate going to each other's homes? If for some reason you can't get out to play cards, could the guys come to your home for the card game?

bmcki, I don't think there is any firm rules on how much "me time" a caregiver should take. Do you have in-home help coming in? You are carrying a heavy load and need to take as much care of yourself as you do of your wife. If there is a caregiver coming in, don't feel bad if you take time for yourself. You need it.

You should find time for yourself as many days as you can find/afford someone else to care for your wife. I believe that no one can handle her as well as you can, but she will survive just fine with second-best care for a few hours while you golf or play cards. This is part of what it takes for you to stay mentally fit to continue to care for her.

Perhaps someday she will need to go to a care center. Until then, take care of your own health and relaxation needs. You deserve it, and she deserves to have you well.