Have no patients to begin with and now my mother is where she doesn't talk or just answers me to where I cannot hardly hear her. Also, this of me is horrible but use to be able to leave her with a drink or whatever now to point where has to be someone with her holding her drink and giving it to her and me I guess shame on me but I cannot stand to do that. Strange I can clean her up when she has BM better than standing and feeding her so this means for me for me have to either keep paying someone to sit and giver her sips of fluid or me and when I'm doing it cannot slow my mind down to think of everything I have to do half sandwich takes hour to eat or more. Then the talking where she will not most of the time answer me and if it wasn't for the things that were done to me by her when she knew what she was doing maybe I wouldn't be so confused to where I ask is she doing this on purpose. Hard to judge with a love/hate relationship don't you think. I find myself screaming a lot which I know is wronggggggg but also on the other hand 476.00 a week to pay experienced caregiver is making things worse in all ways. In my county for mom to receive help they tell me she is number four thousand fifty on waiting list well I might as well forget that for sure, don't believe them anyway, but really makes me sick how I know people who get checks from government and then they do drugs and turn around and trade them in for drugs but I'm trying to take care of my mother and no they cannot help me what did my mom pay taxes for/ even stated don't what no food help no meds help just money to where I can keep caregiver but for us not in our lifetime, is part of me not excepting she can't talk r whatever I do not not no. Then aid came in to give bath and i was telling her I need surgery on my hand for trigger finder she says oh no u cannot do that you have to take care of your mom, well that put me in bad mood and she was from Hospice I cannot hardly pull her up in bed now to do my hand and soon if I do not start taking care of me I might as well just start to make my own funeral arrangements because I'm not the most health's person around. Anyway any advice, thanks for listening all of you on her God Bless have a good weekend.