Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
Z
zoe1234 Asked April 2014

I can't handle the responsibility of looking after my sick grandma. Any advice?

I am 17 and live with my mum step dad and nanny. my nanny has her own house but has been living with us since she broke her arm and hip, and had bladder cancer. she can walk but not well, she barely eats and sometimes has falls which is quite scary because i am not strong enough to help her up.
My parents are planning to move into my nannys house soon, and they wanted me to go with them originally but I don't get on with them well and i couldn't leave my nanny on her own.
my nanny doesn't really get on with my parents either, but i have a boyfriend and we want to move in together. he has his own house with a well paying job. I would love to move out, i feel mature enough and ready. but i cant leave her on her own
advice please?

Eyerishlass Apr 2014
You're a good granddaughter and you obviously care very much about your grandma. However, it is not your responsibility to be her caregiver, not at your age. Let your parents handle it. Like someone else said, continue to be a good granddaughter, visit with her when you can and then go and begin your own life. If/when down the road your parents need some help then maybe you can revisit the situation but for not be 17! Be young! Have fun! And then tell your grandma all about it, I'm sure she'll love hearing about your life. :-)

Heart2Heart Apr 2014
Yes, all the above advice is true... When you look back at all this later you'll have a better perspective... You're just starting to experience life and there's so much more to offer... You deserve to be happy. Keep learning and growing and continue to nurture yourself as a self-sufficient, beautiful person. Try and avoid people taking advantage of your youth and vulnerability. I wouldn't move in with your boy friend as you're too young... This is my advise taken from my similar upbringing as yours... Remember, we're here for you. God Bless you Zoe. Lynn

ADVERTISEMENT


Veronica91 Apr 2014
All good advice. Are you still in high school? If not please at least get your GED if you did not graduate. There are many trades you can learn at the same time as your GED so at least you can get a good job and maybe continue trainng further. You are not responsible for your grandmother so don't let anyone guilt you into it

lsmiami Apr 2014
I see red flags, if parents do not get along with Nanny, they should not be moving in with her, nor should she be counting on them for help in her latter years.
This is difficult enough for besties!
Sounds dysfunctional, as in most relationship the fault or success lies in all parties, so do not feel too sorry from granny, her daughter is of her own making, so if they do not get along it is neither your fault, nor your responsibility / ability to fix.
Sounds like she has a large enough house, perhaps she should downsize and move to ALF.
It would be very unfair for her to count on a 17 yo to be her daily caregiver. You can and should remain in her life as a frequent visitor, but not taking on the daily chores.
Also, aside from caregiving advice, I have to say, young love is very hope-filled and fickle......please study something, anything that allows you some personal development, and a job should you need to maintain yourself and your children in the future.
Please wait to have children until you and your HUSBAND are stable in employment and have some savings and a life plan that excites both of you.
Please avoid children until you are at least in your 20s....

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter