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Robert1969 Asked March 2014

How do I find out if my ex-wife is receiving money caring for her grandfather in New Mexico?

my ex wife is receiving alimony from me and i believe she is also receiving money from the state of new mexico for caring for her elderly grandfather. If i can find out if she is in fact receiving income from another source i may be able to have the alimony stopped or reduced through a modification order which i am currently working on. I have custody of our 2 children and am trying to regain my income as it is quite expensive raising 2 children. any help would be appriciated

freqflyer Mar 2015
Robert, curious why you have custody of the 2 children..... or is it a case of joint custody but because your children's mother has her hands full caring for her grandfather, that you are helping out by having the children?

terryjack1 Mar 2015
She could be caring for her grandfather who may be on the waiver program, which would mean she is being paid by the state. She only gets paid for as long as he's on the program. You might try: fatherssupportingfather/ if they are unable to assist, do an internet search. Caring for children as a single parent isn't an easy task. Good luck.

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pamzimmrrt Mar 2015
alimony is different / separate from child support. "Welfare" is based on total need/income... her alimony may only be a few hundred dollars or less... He does not say he is paying child support. If he is the custodial parent SHE should be paying child support. I have 2 friends in this situation.. the women both get alimony.. and pay some child support to the custodial father. Seems wierd, but there it is..

Rocknrobin Mar 2015
BTME123..........Stay off of this site. Stop advertising for a quack

moondance Mar 2014
It is not your business.

freqflyer Mar 2014
Don't forget, children eventually learn to take care of themselves and be independent.... an elderly person goes in reverse.

Labs4me Mar 2014
Oh and by the way Robert1969 is a caregiver-to his children.

Labs4me Mar 2014
I don't care if the exwife is a caregiver. Her first responsibility is in the financial support of her children. How a noncustodial parent can be getting alimony and not financialy supporting their children is a disgrace. I am with pamstegman on this one.

LEP627 Mar 2014
If she's caring for her father, the money she would receive is minimal. Let it go. The stress associated with caregiving is extreme. I think you wanting to lower alimony when she is doing something that is the hardest thing to do is downright unkind.

pamstegma Mar 2014
I don't see how she could get alimony and also be on NM welfare or Medicaid Waiver program. You either report her to the authorities, which costs you nothing, or you go to court for a review of alimony and child support payments. They can force her to show income, resources and expenses. Assuming that she lives with her grandfather, she may have near zero expenses and if there is income, she would owe part of that to child support. Go For It.

Eyerishlass Mar 2014
I understand not being able to afford an attorney. Are you aware that there are fathers rights groups? They're not support groups, they advocate for fathers in divorce and/or custody disputes.

Good luck to you.

Beth53 Mar 2014
How is your question related to the care of a loved one? You came to the wrong forum for the advice you need.

You need to look into a Dad's rights organization.

Robert1969 Mar 2014
I dont have a attorney I cant afford one. I know she wont show up for court as she kinda deserted the kids. she had shared custody but left because the courts suspended over night visits because she wont follow court orders to take a co parenting class... any way if any one knows how i go about finding this information out please let me know. The more evidence I can present the court the better chance i have of either reducing the alimony or canceling it.

Eyerishlass Mar 2014
If the ex is being paid by the state I would think that your attorney should be able to determine that. And while I'm not experienced in this area in the least I also think (just my opinion) that in the course of you trying to obtain a modification order the ex will have to turn over her bank statements at some point which will show that she is being paid by the state.

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