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So yesterday i wake up to POUNDING on my glass door.' give my honey you b***h! ' scared the ***l out of me and my dogs! this is why i keep my doors locked!) i dont know what to do, i grabbed my camcorder and started taping. i post to facebook. hour and a half later 3 police come to the house and tell me to leave. no warning, no money, no order from a judge, leave. i put leashes on my 2 large dogs and grab my jacket, stunned. i have 3 dollors in my pocket and 1/8 tank of gas, 2 dogs no food no place to go. i locked myself in my room because hes been violent lately. i have a bandaid on my face and bruises on my arm where he grabbed me. but im 'a pain in his ass'.. because i didnt have his honey.
ok, the day before, adult protection comes out. and i can hear him tell the guy he doesnt want me evicted, he wants the guy to come scare me a little, ' so the guy does. comes to my room telling me to move. well, id LOVE to. i have breast cancer, hepB, fibromyalgia and a severed/broken toe. i gave up my rent controlled apt because he was terrified of brother. when he was in the hospitol, i cared for him, but i didnt live here. he sits up, with a terrified look and says 'one day mikes going to kill me!' it sent a shock down my spine, how could i not help him? 5 years later. 2200 sq ft of this house went from a dope pit to a house you can have guests in. you can breath here. he had given completly up, mike had him by the balls. im the ONLY one that was dumb enough to help. now i have a target on my back because mikes made it known hes coming after me. i cant get my apt back, my son no longer lives with me, hes grown. i havent worked on the books in 25 years! im not on probation, parole, none of that. im the one that started the case with aps. but this dude sees bill, smug look and all, in a clean house, clearly not abused.im abused but i dont say anything. whats the point. i am absolutly shocked at how few people i have to count on. everyone i called blew me off!! he tells the cops im off my meds, i havent been on meds in 15 years. he had been drinking, i quit drinking after my hysterectomy 2 years ago.i smoke pot because of my breast cancer, so i cant pass a drug test, i have a broken toe, and no work history ( i was married, then on my own now a slave here)
so all day today i hear him on the phone with everyone he can think to call, telling how bad i am. how hes having so much problems with me. he goes through these violent stages now. when he does i lock my doors! 2 weeks ago he came to my room out of the blue banging on my door with a shotgun in his hand! he later says he was selling it, so thats why he was carrying it around the house.. thats not ok.
everytime he does something really messed up to me, he attacks me! what the hell, because i dont beat him up hes run wild? this is NOT what i signed up for. ive kept my word, i got him on his feet and the house back to where it should be.and the cops can just show up and say leave? legal aid was closed, friday late afternoon. he says 'she doesnt pay rent' but ive never been asked to! he takes every oppertunity to build me up to sabatoge me and i HATE fighting! i have PTSD from growing up here as it is. ( i was fine when i lived on my own. now i probebly need to be on pills again . great) i never in a million years dreamed that this person would turn on me so viciously. ive done nothing wrong. ive been the perfect little slave cleaning up all that he messes up.
im sure its no coicidence that he talked to judy an hour and a half before banging my door down. ( he telling people today that i said he was going to kill me. i didnt say that, i said that banging on my door like a madman isnt alright! over HONEY!)
so i went to the lodge. only place where i could get wifi. my cell isnt working well.its a cheapy. i was in shock. still am! a lodge member say me crying in my car in the parking lot with my 2 dogs and called and tried to talk to him. so he 'graciously' is allowing me to be here for 6 days.. really? the last few times i tired to leave he called me ' where the hell are you? you cant leave an old man alone!' thats of course after he screams at me to leave. so i do. i have no money, i dont get paid here. i didnt have money when i moved in! i had HAD a rent controlled apt. not anymore. im more than happy to get the hell out of here and let him rot in his juices, but mid month i have no money, where the h*** am i supposed to go? does aps not realize that they just gave him the green light to do anything he wants to me now?
im in shock...i really am

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not a bad idea, i may just have a nervous breakdown after this. i have to find safe place for my dogs
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The cops know where you are if you have a cell phone. They will be back, probably on Monday. Ask to be hospitalized for evaluation, that's about all you can do now. I'll be thinking of you, hoping for the best results.
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i appreciate everyones answer. im overwhelmed at the moment. i thought if i did right by him, things would go well. that didnt happen.. if it werent for my being able to ask questions and get real answers i probably would have spun out of control, so thank you. i do listen, i need to listen and do for myself. i know nobody else has my back, not even my son it seems. he called the cops that day saying i was suicidal. i never told him i was suicidal, i was crying on the phone, yeah, i told him i needed to find someone to take the dogs, because i dont want them going to the pound ( both shelter rescues, traumatized already by him banging on my door like that) so i can look for somewhere to go. he tried to kill himself not long ago, and his father,my ex killed himself. maybe he was hypervigilant thinking thats what id do too, but h*** no, this jerks aint going to win like that. so i had cops calling my cell all day, wanting to 'talk to me because my son in utah thinks im going to hurt myself. that hes worried im off my meds'' yeah, ive been off meds for years... nice he didnt know that. so im finding out i have absolutly nobody, my dogs really are all i have.. am i stupid? probably. its my only sanity.. im keeping what i have left.. and i hope he never has a good nights sleep again... mr deacon at the church, sick and distress reporter at lodge....
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i should.. my only disability right now would be my badly broken toe thatwas injured december. it was completly severed, the rest of the bone shattered. i gained a bit of weight because i couldnt walk real well, but im able to walk a bit now. i wouldnt mind having a job, i have breast cancer, if that gets bad, they give me masectomy. i refuse chemo. but i do smoke pot. thats in your system for 30 days. i know excuse, but having to leave and finding out i have no rights is kinda new! he had to go to court to get mike out, why doesnt he have to do the same for me? im happy to leave, i wont see a dime from this place. i lost my sec8 ( what i called rent control, a term more understand) because I HELPED HIM! just seems kinda messed up is all..
he keeps telling everyone im mental, ok, if i wasnt before i am now. i have suffered from agorophobia and ptsd before. hard to be agorophobic and homeless. but whatever... i think i have a good frame of mind as i can here, this is all over honey. that i didnt have. doesnt matter. ill go, no clue where but i need at least time to get a storage i get paid once a month, so not till the first. i get 644. thats not a months rent much less 1st last and deposit, and i have 2 dogs. ( the second oen i may not have got if i thought i had to leave) but i love both my dogs and theyre all i have now. they are all thats ever been there for me. again, thats ok.. its really REALLY hard not to think of mean things to do but im staying above that. ive been treated like dogs*** since i got here, but ive sucked it up, tried to stay strong. i thought it was just that he was elderly. no its that hes mean. i got that now.. i just dont know where to go... wish there werr rights for me. at least mike got the satifaction of beating the hell out of him. now i know why.. im not abusive though. i dont like fighting, hitting, i hate that crap... i havent reported him when hes hit me.
we had a deal i stuck to it. he didnt, ill get over it.. im shocked i have no rights.. i just facebooked my sister ( surprisingly absent so far) and she hasnt written back yet.. hes her problem now.. i just cant stand that hes trying to paint me like im an abusive punk. my tiny bit of dignity is all i have.
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Sebring,
you have posted in the past. Back then you were upset that your adoptive father was going to take a reverse mortgage and you would lose the house that you had upgraded, Later you were upset that your adoptive siblings wanted you out of the house, along the way you mentioned that you had a record and were upset you had let go of your section 8 housing to move in with Dad.
I only point this out to make the point that this has been dysfunctional for a long time and your position has only worsened. You spoke in this thread about needing to get back on pills.
I hope you will see a doctor for whatever condition, I hope you will consider taking the dogs to a shelter and then doing the same for yourself. Perhaps your son can help you get on your feet. Perhaps you can get a job, sounds like you are not disabled, as you were caregiving and home-remodeling.
Please consider getting out of this situation immediately, it is only getting worse. If you persist you may end back in front of a judge and no you likely have no claim to the home or any back-compensation based on the fact you did home improvements.

Please worry about your mental and physical stability above all.

Regards
L
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h***, ill do a big bonfire in a parking lot with my stuff before he gets it.. petty? maybe its all i got
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pat on the back, no. opperunty to get my items, h*** yes! why is it his abuser,mike, has to be oerdered out by judge and i dont get that same chance? he does NOT get to keep my washer/dryer,tvs, security system, i cant take back all the home improvments i did, but theres no bloody way in hell he gets to keep my items hes so used to as well.
he cant be alone, hes not in his mind. im out! i just want my stuff.
so when i go, so do my items. so does my protction from the wrath of mike. ( and hes about due to get out of prison, so it does make sense. i just kept him company while mike was away, i guess.) but im the reason the house never got robbed. in the bad guy world, i have protection. in the 'civilized' world, not so much.
im quiet happy to leave him where i found him. but im takinging my items that i bought before i moved here and have receipts for, with me.
what kind of a message is the adult prtective trying to send when they treat the caregiver this way? im the only one that would halp him when he begged and its ok with the courts to toss me out? really/? i just want my stuff. i will get my stuff. if its the last fight i have in me...
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This is a difficult situation because you have two dogs. Many places won't allow dogs, but if you are like me, you can't leave them. Do you know anyone who could take them until you get on your feet? There are so many options, but with two dogs all the doors close. I hope that you can find a place where they will be safe until you are able to provide a home for them again.
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Sebring, you cannot be there. The police told you to leave. If they find you there you will be in jail and the dogs will be at the pound.
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i had dog food at the house, i couldnt get it. and it wouldnt fit in the car.
thank you all for your replies, your saying what i knew in my mind. im not crazy.. but i will be if i stay..
speaking of codependant, hes narcisist. so im the adopted daughter of narcists father.. i was doomed before i started.. thank you all again, you are my sanity..
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Are you expecting pats on the back for allowing yourself to be used as a doormat? Get the hell out of dodge and leave that old bastard to sink or swim with this Mike guy. Stay out of his world, stay out of his life. Period. Talk to DSS and see if they can help you get into housing. With your medical conditions, you probably qualify, and some of those places are very nice. And peaceful. And quiet, without stress.

And smoke one for me, would you? *hugs*
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Get out. Don't look back. If dad can't take care of himself, the authorities can deal with it and he will get care. If you are that concerned, call APS, tell them your concerned he can't take care of himself.

Then go find a friend, shelter, etc where you can go and get on your feet.

Let dad and mike manage on their own.
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since, by the nature of their business, aps has seen it all, it makes me wonder if were only hearing one side of this story. im sure they have a few conclusion jumping dolts in their service but demented claims of pri caregivers trying to kill the patient is textbook stuff.
perhaps when an elder says caregiver has got to go, aps and L - E must honor that.
if your out of money mid month with no rent obligation why are you feeding 160 lbs of " dog " ? . that smacks of absurd choices to me but im not a dog person..
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Look up Co-Dependent. That's what you are when you let someone abuse you, the authorities separate you, and you go back for more. "Co-Dependent" means you got an order of protection, but you still text and email and try to make up with the abuser. Break the vicious cycle, only YOU can.
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Agree with Bookluvr, you have been given a gift by getting thrown out. Let the State deal with him. Sounds like you've been a victim of years of abuse. Focus on getting help for yourself and your dogs. A homeless shelter may be able to direct you to some resources. So sorry for all of the pain you are suffering. Get help for yourself.
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It's time to move on. If it has happened once, it will happen again. Life is just so scary, period. He and the authority have just given you a reason, a SIGN, that it's time for you to move on. Try the homeless shelter, a church outreach program, etc...Do not let him or anyone else put you in a position to be treated like a slave with no rights at all but to caregive to them and be abused. It's time to do some real soul searching and pray from deep within for guidance and strength. Sebring, you knew that this was going to happen months ago. Did you do your research? I'm so sorry....
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Somebody did you a favor by getting you out of there. It wasn't going to get better, the dementia only worsens. Don't go back! If the cops told you to leave and you go back, it means JAIL. Get out of there!
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just to add, what if some thing did happen to him because i wasnt here because aps had police throw me out? he often forgets the stove, falls, climbs the ladder with a plastic bag around his neck, what if he did get hurt? because they belived him and threw me out? hes not abused, hes clearly not abused, he didnt even tell the guy he was! he said im a pain in his ass. because i didnt have his damn honey. im a pain because i showed the world his bad behaviour? im the bad guy though...
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