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sandlee Asked February 2014

Am I legally obligated to be my Dad's caregiver?

I am an only child. My mother passed 14 years ago. I've been estranged from my abusive father most of those 14 years. 4 months ago he accepted an invitation from me to go to dinner for his 80th birthday. We had not seen each other in about 8 years. Since then I have been drawn into his mess of a life, including his giving tens of thousands of dollars to a 25 yr old male drug addict who stole my father's check and committed fraud against him. The bank told him they would not longer allow him to have a checking account that was repeatedly vulnerable to fraud. The police are trying to get me to take my dad to a doctor to have him deemed "lacking capacity to give consent" so they can bring charges against the drug addict. My father alternately begs me for help with his finances, etc. and tells me to get the hell out of his life. I've spoken to him with respect, have refused to rehash the past with him and have been honest in all I have done to help him not to be vulnerable to fraud again. I am about ready to walk away from him for good. What are my legal responsibilities to him at this point?

jeannegibbs Feb 2014
No. You have no obligation to be his caregiver.

anonymous158299 Feb 2014
maybe youll have to get back in his life out of necessity and a moral responsibility to yourself. straighted your spine out real tall ( its good posture anyway ) and start the conversation like this; STFU old man. heres what were going to do. its take charge time imo. take his respect by force..

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gladimhere Feb 2014
Power of attorney. Why did the bank not call APS? They have the evidence and I would think they would want to protect themselves before refusing to allow your father to have an account. They are pushing this problem onto another institution.

sandlee Feb 2014
The bank was on the verge of calling Adult Protective Services. What is POA? I have so much to learn about this.

gladimhere Feb 2014
You do not have any legal responsibility unless you are POA, but from what you say that is not the case. If you don't want anything to do with this your best bet would be to encourage his bank to call Adult Protective Services. You could do this as well, but the bank has the first hand information. I'm surprised the bank did not call them already, many banks will if they suspect something is amiss.

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