Ferris, I know in our house, my brother spends his time caring for the home that includes my Dad and dependent sister (cooking, cleaning, driving, doctoring). In his case, Dad's pension specifically includes money for sis's care, care that my Dad can not provide without the help (of my brother at this time). Now if Dad should decide he wants to use someone else for his caregiver, he legitimately would owe monies to my brother, monies he wouldn't need if things kept on as they were, since his housing and food are currently provided by my Dad's pension. If Dad were to no longer need his care, my brother would be entitled to compensation, as he is entitled now, but if things plod along as is, eventually there will be the house left to my brother as payment for his efforts (not that he needs payment, but a settling of debts of a sort), but should that not happen, it wouldn't be fair to not pay him something. So in this case, I would call that a retrospective payment. I suppose there are other equally unusual scenarios. For this reason, I try to talk him into taking salary now, but the bookeeping involved seems overwhelming. Is it income, a gift, taxes, maybe a lawyer, he is not the best at math. He works hard though and earns his due.
What the VA people told me recently is that the retro widow's benefits represent money we've already spent for Mom's care and can be spent on just about anything. Maybe the rules are different for monthly payments going into the fiduciary account. However in our case, the amount awarded to Mom is so much less than what we actually spend on non-reimbursable care that I can't imagine there would be a problem. But of course this type of question should be asked of the VA officer handling your own case.
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