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eldestgirl Asked January 2014

Mom's sisters had her lawyer come over and rewrite her will. How can I find out what was in the will?

Mom was afraid to go against sisters because she was moving in with them and needed daily help for bathing, meals etc. The sisters had mom's lawyer come over and rewrite her will. Mom told me this but was afraid if she changed it the girls would find out and not take care of her. She told me there was a stipulation for me. She bought a mobile home they would receive free and clear and she would give me money out of her money market. Sister got POA and moved the money market. They used her checking acct and signed her name to checks even before one of them had POA. When mom passed Oct 2013, I called the attorney and he said I wasn't his client and he couldn't talk to me. I asked who was his client and he said your mom. Reminded him she passed now who is his client. He said the beneficiaries. I told him I am her oldest daughter so how do I know I am not a beneficiary if he wont share the will with me. He told me would pray for my mom but couldn't talk to me anymore. I have not heard a word, my sisters have the mobile, the money market and anything that was in mom's checking acct. I asked for a bracelet I had given her to keep as a keepsake but they don't talk to me so never even got the bracelet. How can I find out what was in the will. I am on a very limited budget so went to talk to an attorney with a free 1/2 hr. She said not worth the money to fight for anything. All this is driving me crazy because mom and I had a good relationship and I don't think she would have left me out without influence from the greedy sisters. Is there anything I can do without a lot of expense? Thank you for reading. Linda

N1K2R3 Jan 2014
Since we have eight attorneys in our family, but only two medical doctors (living), I get more legal information than I get medical ( wish it were the other way around). They are more than happy to share their knowledge and opinions. If I may run a question by one or two of them, just let me have it. Of course, the best course of action would be to hire your own attorney. That way you can talk out any problems and share specific information and get these problems solved.

GraceH Jan 2014
Eldestgirl, I feel badly how your family has treated you, and your mom, however if the free attorney said it's probably not worth it, for the costs you would incur, it's probably true. Attorneys are VERY expensive, and they can choose which cases they take---based on how much money they will make. So unless you can present strong evidence that you will be inheriting 100,000, and the attorney would be getting like 25% of that, the attorneys are just not interested. I know it doesn't sound like justice, but I have had a couple experiences with attorneys, and they do get Paid quite a lot of money, they're not Free, and they're not going going to get involved in something where there is not going to be a substantial payout for themselves.
I hope there is a pot of gold there somewhere for you.....but probably not from your mom's estate. Maybe you could write a letter and sent it certified, asking for the bracelet, but then again, maybe you'd be better off saving yourself that money.
CHOOSE to remember the good times you had with your mom, and put all the negative stuff in a virtual garbage bag and bring it to the trash incinerator!

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Bonfire Jan 2014
Too bad you didn't become POA a long time ago or even possibly take her in because all too often people become susceptible to this kind of thing out of guilt and obligation.

N1K2R3 Jan 2014
Eldestgirl: At the beginning of every Last Will and Testament is a statement with the names of all the decedent's children and of course, the spouse. It is mandatory that the attorney handling the estate send, in certified form, by mail, a copy of the decedent's will to each child.( Beneficiary or not). Each person must sign off on their copy and return the will to the attorney's office. Each, in turn will receive that copy back for their own records. It's called " signed, sealed and delivered". The court in the county of the decedent's domicile, will also keep a copy, or is it the original?
Assert your rights as a child of the decedent, although not a beneficiary. Call the courthouse, another lawyer or go down yourself and ask to see the records.

12wondering Jan 2014
Unless it is a fairly large estate & you have unlimited resources to fight best to let it go. I too went through similar circumstances with my Mother & my eldest daughter. Family all agreed that daughter (granddaughter) was the best option to take care of my Mother because she was close by & the rest of us were in other states. Long story short, daughter/granddaughter completely cut all the rest of the family out of my Mothers life. I was even barred from seeing her when she was in a nursing home because my daughter lied & claimed the she was the daughter. Needless to say everything went to granddaughter excluding her 3 other sisters, myself, & Mothers sister. We were not even allowed to have sentimental or family things. Yes my Aunt & I could have taken it to court but felt that that would just make things worse. Might add that I was my Mothers only child (60's) & her sister was her last remaining relative (80's). Than we all went through it again last year when said daughter died suddenly & ex-husband pulled the same thing & now has possession of our family things. We have our memories & love intact. Things are just things.

Zoolife Jan 2014
Eldestgirl, breaks my heart to hear this, but it happens greed between family members. If the will is public knowledge call the court house in the city where the will would be made public have them pull the records. Not sure of the procedures but if the will is public record as I read above maybe they can get you a copy. So sorry, my father's sisters tried to take over my parents and have me disinherited they may have still not sure want know until I get guardianship, as my dad's sister's abandon them in a nursing home. Some family I'm so ashamed of who they are! God Bless you on your journey!

ferris1 Jan 2014
I don't know where I got "Linda". Meant to say "eldestgirl.

ferris1 Jan 2014
Linda, this will would have been filed in probate, so it is a public record. Additionally, unless you have concrete proof your mother intended for you to have the money market fund, it is heresay, and it will not stand up in court. Did your mother sign anything willing anything to you? If not, it looks like another greedy family incident and you will have to accept it. In the end, your mother's wisdom will live on in you, and you will get past this. My condolences for your loss.

poppycat33 Jan 2014
Her Beef is I suspected shes found she is not included in my Mums Will? My Mum disowned her many years ago, its a long story, she was a manipulative awkward person having babies to different men (sorry to be judgemental) never worked in her life dragged the kids up 2 of them went in a home (poor things) she was always attention seeking as a child and an older adult - but very subtle with it..... Her daughter (my niece) works in a residential care home and I strongly suspect she has had influence on my Mum. Shes also bad-mouthed me on facebook. Don't use it now.....
The whole thing is horrid - jealousy I suspect. At the end of the day my Mum can do what she likes with her assets. Oh and by the way its not all coming my way either!!

Lizann Jan 2014
I would seek out a lawyer dealing with wills, estates and POAs. Eventually, all wills (big or small estates) have to be registered with the county via the county clerk's office. Whatever the final will says will be know to all.
There are ways to contest the will if you think you mother wrote it under pressure of your sisters.

If you mother's estate is very small the cost to contest the will may not be worth doing. If your mother is in poor health it is likely medical costs will be greater than her assets. Your sisters may not inherit anything if creditors are waiting for payment.

Countrymouse Jan 2014
Are you still in touch with your mother's doctor? Your sister might still suspect that you're behind the enquiry, but she might also find it hard to refuse to tell your mother's doctor of her whereabouts.

What's your sister's beef, if you don't mind my asking?

poppycat33 Jan 2014
trouble is we don't know which home shes in. If I ask my Aunt to ask my sister she will suspect its me who enquirying - very difficult. My Aunt came to my wedding and my sister who refused to come including my brother and my Mum knows she did..... Is there another way I can find out?

Countrymouse Jan 2014
Poppycat, perhaps you could ask your aunt to give the respite care home your telephone number and a message to call you with an update? The worst that could happen is nothing.

Countrymouse Jan 2014
On a person's death, the person's will becomes essentially a public document. Given the superior freedom of access to information in the US, is there not some formula you can use to write to the attorney and formally demand sight of the will?

poppycat33 Jan 2014
Hi I believe I am experiencing things you are going, have been going thorough but in a different kind of way. I was my Mums carer for many years, she has ageing issues relating to osteoporosis and dementia. I tried to juggle with this care and a full time job. My brother lives down south and is totally oblivious to the situation and half of the time does not want to know. Meanwhile my Sister who has no been in contact with my Mum for nearly 20yrs comes on to the scene when my step-father died and has bullied her way into my Mums good books by causing trouble for me and my new husband, who is the innocent party in al this. I was banned from a hospital visit becomes of her and her family bad mouthing me to my Mum and I think she has become so frightened shes going along with it. I made me ill in the end and I had to butt out of the situation. My Sister remains in charge with the house key and access to mums money. I believe through an Aunt of mine my Mum is in a respite home. They don't even talk to me and even have the decency to let me know anything about my Mum. I am just waiting to find out the bad news......... very sad

pamstegma Jan 2014
If you suspect a fraud, write a letter to your state attorney general detailing your complaint. They will look into it.

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