Follow
Share

We have a family member that will be released from the hospital shortly. Because of progressive dementia and other related health issues it seems logical to take the next step and go to long term care rather than let her come home and then in two or three months make the move to LTC. We know that she will only go to LTC screaming and kicking based on our say so alone. On the other side of the issue is dealing with other family members that feel she should be at home. What outside resources are available that will help us make the case for LTC as realistically that appears to be the most logical option.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I fully agree with LaTxKan. Take this opportunity to do everything that you can to have her transferred directly to a nursing facility. If you take her back home, you're gonna have a difficult time of things. If she has had ongoing issues in her home and has been causing a ton of stress and worry for everyone, then I would go so far as to tell the discharge planner and social worker that you will NOT be picking her up to take her home. In fact, I literally did exactly that last month when my dad was admitted after a fall. I am the only family member and there was no one else to pick him up. Luckily, the hospital doctors and staff didn't give me too much trouble. They agreed with me and worked with me to transfer him directly to a facility of my choice. There were only 3 in town, and luckily all had beds open. I had visited each one for about an hour beforehand to get their costs and other info.

If you strongly feel that she should not come back home, then I don't question that you're right. I'm sure you are. Refuse to pick her up from the hospital. If other family members want to pick her up, then let them know that they are responsible for working with the discharge planner and coordinating and overseeing her care at home. It's a ton of work. If they really want to be responsible for that, then let them for the time being.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The very family members who come down hard on you for placing your loved one in a facility are the very ones who have never lifted a finger to lighten your burden. My sister who has absolved herself of any kind of help, emotional, physical or financial is my loudest detractor whenever I bring up nursing home care. She has no idea the drain on one's health and psyche being a caregiver. I hope your family members are more fair. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Her doctor has to prescribe she meets the criteria for LTC. It sounds like she does, and the kicking and screaming part will subside once she finds no one will hurt her and she is being cared for in a safe environment. No one likes dramatic changes, and it will take time for her mind to adjust, and it may or may not depending on her dementia. She may stop talking and you will not know what she is feeling or thinking. My very best to you and your mother.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

By all means get it handled where your family member goes directly from hospital to LTC. Much easier than trying later. Talk to MD, discharge planner, ask if hosp has social worker and even religious leader if you so desire. If you have a place in mind you better start checking because like others said it is very likely wait listed. Start today getting it lined out.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Are the family members who want her to stay at home, (her home or their home?), stepping up to take care of her? Is that really an option? Just wondering.

Also, is there a facility near you ready to take her in? Many times, places are full and there is a wait list. Then of course, there is the issue of money. Just wondering how far you are in your planning.

We placed my Dad in LTC after a fall. He has been in the NH for two years now. NOT willingly, but my 85 year old mother with two hip replacements couldn't take of him. He has nasty, anger dementia, is a two person transfer and has to be medicated to stay calm. It's not a pretty picture. :(

Good luck with you situation. :)

-SS
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You must give considerable effort to your family member to be able to convince her, however, it this fail and you feel the need to move her in a long term care facility, then talk to her doctor, he is in a better position to provide you with information regarding what's best for her. If the doctor tell you that it is not advisable to bring her home because she needs advance medical supervision, then pstegman is right, talk to a lawyer so you won't end up dealing with issues which may arise from the situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You should talk to the MD and he has to agree she is incompetent. The evaluation needs to be done by a Neurologist/Psychiatrist while she is still in the hospital. I strongly suggest you get an attorney on board as well. The discharge planner at the hospital will help you find an appropriate facility, and the MD can order anti-anxiety meds for the transition.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.