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jeffrey20832 Asked January 2014

Alzheimer's Mom seems to talk non-stop. Any advice?

My mother has been living with us for the past 4 months, as her Alzheimer's Disease and dementia has gotten worse, and it is not safe for her to live alone any longer. She is on Namenda and Exelon Patch. She has a continuing anxiety problem and we have tried various small doses of medication, Trazodone, Klonopin, and now her new geriatric psychiatrist wants to replace those with Mirtazapine.

Nothing seems to have any impact on her anxiety issues, and she talks almost non-stop. Has anyone else run into this when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease?

I am grateful for what we do have, her life, our moments of joy, and we make the best of things. I wish she didn't get so anxious over any little thing, and I try to calm and reassure her.

NancyH Jan 2014
I was wondering, if when your mom talks all the time, does she make sense? Is she talking about real things that are happening or did happen at some point in her life? I was thinking that maybe it gives her reassurance somehow to hear herself talking, even if no one responds to her. Have you ever tried having her put headphones on or ear buds in and listening to music that she might like? If she's in need of noise or voices or music in her ears, I just thought you might try that. It's just a thought.

KalaFW1 Feb 2014
same problem here with caring for my 89 yr old father. I moved in with him to care for him full time. He's always been very egotistical, narcissist to the max. He has has never cared for anyone else's problems and he has always taken life in stride. His way or No Way. Demanding. With Alzheimer's and Dementia, his normal behavior has just escalated to new heights... he hasn't gone more than 3 minutes without talking for over 3 1/2 months...honestly I have timed it. Headphones don't work, music doesn't work, TV doesn't work....he wants a reply when he's talking and wants you right in the same room where he is 24 7. If you ignore, he becomes LOUD and mean. Doc has him on 2 ALZ dementia meds and also small dose of ativan. Nothing is working. He's hyper from the time he wakes to when he falls asleep,never wanting to sit still, take me here, wheel me there, do this, do that, fix this, drive me here, take me home, check mail, comb my hair, make this list...the list is endless and never stops on his demands to be constantly moving and he never seems to run out of energy! He was in a nursing home for 2 months and was becoming frail and looked awful, losing weight, stayed in a more confused state that we had ever seen him...I thought that his ALZ/Dementia was advancing to where he was leaving this constant chatter/activity stage and brought him home, thinking I could handle him better if he was no longer so verbal and loud and demanding...where he promptly became Slave Master Mr Never Stops Talking or Singing or Whistling...all day. Again. If I give him headphones to listen to an old song he likes, he starts singing with it, takes off the headphones and begins talking about something else. He may watch TV for 2 minutes then begin another repetitive story. If I am on the phone, he interrupts within seconds, 'who is it' and says "Hang up now, you don't need to be on the phone". If I am talking to my husband, our home is nearby and my husband tries to come over to give me a break for a shower, my father has a total hissy, interrupting us talking, once again bringing the attention back to HIM. He has never been a person who lets stress bother him. He certainly doesn't display any signs of anxiety or stress by speech or behavior. He's just VERBAL non stop. We are now at the point of checking finances to have dad put back into the nursing home. I'll sell my house and live in the car if I have to. I've already had to quit my job; at age 59, there are slim chances I could ever find another job. I'll continue to follow this thread in hopes that there is something out there that I can try which will quiet him some...all I ask is a few minutes of peace and quiet. I have cut my sleep down to 4 to 5 hours a night just so I be awake before he gets up so I can have a cup of coffee without jumping up to the next demand and to be bombarded with the constant singing, whistling, talking...plus since he is hyper sexual, always has been, it isn't safe to be in a prone position and wake up to him around you, and I stay up late after he falls asleep to just get online and look for help and answers....I am sleep deprived, punch drunk dizzy, but at least it is quiet for a few hours. There are no other family members available to care for my father; the few that have tried gave up due to his constant banter/demands and talking. I have had maybe 15 hours of time away from this house, and him, in the last 2 months. I am open to any suggestions.

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jeffrey20832 Jan 2014
JessieBelle - this is the same sort of situation I have as well. I try to stop and calm any confusion that she has, or see if there is any other discomfort she has (cold, tired, hungry). But there is so much of it at times, I sometimes just need to reassure her that everything is fine. I feel bad about as I don't know how much is anxiety, and how much is the cruel disease simply ping-ponging ideas around at random.

ferris1 Jan 2014
With her being on Namenda and the Exelon patch, they have side effects, and I am leery of these meds because, having tried them on my husband, they caused more side effects, so they were stopped. These meds are standard protocol for dementias, they do not change the diagnosis and will more than likely cause behaviors you didn't recognize nor expect. Mirtazapine comes in two forms, both oral and disintegrating, and treats depression (which can have anxiety). If you are to really know if it will work, take her off the other two meds (with approval or not), and see if the mirtazapine is the med that will help her. My husband constantly talks to himself, I will hear him, and I've asked him about it. He just says he is talking to himself. Maybe having dementia causes one to not be able to silence the mind and one has to hear the words in order for the mind to know what it is saying. Since I don't have dementia, all I can do is allow him to be who he is at this point in time, because there will come a day when he will not talk at all. My best to your family.

brandywine1949 Jan 2014
Change in meds would be in order.

NotHisFault Jan 2014
Jeffrey - Dementia/Alzheimer's is such a devastating disease - and affects people a little differently as it progresses. Not sure what you can do about your Mom's constant talking, but I think 'letitbe4u' is correct - there may come a time when your Mom cannot talk or speaks very little. My husband (later stage Alzheimer's) barely talks and when he does, usually makes no sense because he struggles to find his words. God Bless You for taking your Mom into your home at this time to care for her.

twinlaura Jan 2014
I know it is hard when a parent has alzheimer's and the stages are dragged out,, my dad is in the late stage, bed ridden and does not speak anymore. I would give anything to hear his voice again.. My advice, please, don't take it the wrong way, enjoy every word she says, because you never know when she will just stop talking.. take care and be strong,,

stevensmom Jan 2014
Jeffrey, my mom is on Exelon patches and mirtazapine, which her neurologist put her on when she was getting up in the night and wandering. She doesn't show a lot of anxiety, more frustration, when she can't remember something or can't get something to work, but I feel stressed when she is stressed because I want to fix it, but I can't.

In my case, it's my dad who talks all the time. He doesn't have any form of dementia; he's just always been that way. It's hard for my mom to understand or remember what he says, because anything important was surrounded by a couple of hundred other words. We've tried to remind him to keep it short and sweet when talking with my mom, but were not going to change his personality now!

I personally have a hard time concentrating when it is noisy around me and have a low tolerance for noise levels. I work with students who have autism and we use the headphones you can buy at sporting good stores in the shooting section to cut down on the noise for them. Sometimes I use them too. Just thinking you might want to give them a try if the non-stop talking is getting on your nerves. You could still hear your mom if anything important is going on and it might give you more patience for the times you are directly interacting with your mom. Peace and good wishes!

CJhelper Jan 2014
My father-in-law is in the same boat. He gets stuck in a thought loop, can't find his way out, so he basically thinks out loud to try to sort it out. Does that seem like what she is doing? Can't hurt to try.

tlhanger Jan 2017
mom, 96, takes no medicine , but she does take vitamins and eats 3 meals a day. Recently, she was only speaking erratically, but then yesterday she was like talking constantly all day. She made sense. Read everything that was words put on the TV and asked a lot of questions. We conversed as best we could, but she is mostly deaf and refuses to wear her hearing aids. By evening, my husband I were worn out with the roledex of chatter. She finally went to bed and slept for a long time. Today she is mostly quiet and watching football. Wonder what happened yesterday?

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