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mags12 Asked December 2013

Patience with elderly father with memory loss. Any tips?

Hi! My elderly father is staying with me long-term.
He has issues with memory loss. At times, I
am struggling to be patient with him. Any tips?
Thanks!

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Dec 2013
Hi Mags,
One tip is to make it a habit to take part in this community or another support group. We understand that it's hard because most of us have been in similar situations. Just knowing others struggle with the same issues can be very helpful.

I'd suggest that you go to www.alz.org and take the "brain tour." It helps when you see exactly how the areas of the brain are eaten away simply because it becomes more real to us that the person with the memory loss can't help what is happening. Of course, you already know that, but somehow seeing the damage makes it more real.

Also, practical things such as making lists for him is he can still comprehend them may help. Eventually, labeling rooms and even items he uses may help. The Alzheimer's organization in your community can help you with suggestions, as can the Alzheimer's Association website.

Patience is something we can learn when we understand what is behind the issue. I'm not saying that you'll become a saint by becoming more educated about the disease and by having a support community, but I am suggesting that these steps will help.

Take care of yourself, too. This will likely be a long journey.
Carol

lsmiami Dec 2013
My dad did not have dementia, but there were plenty of other things that made the situation very difficult, including, the dynamics with mom.
Before I entered his room or space, I would take a moment to ask God for patience and strength to deal with whatever would be before me.
It may sound strange, but I sincerely think it is what kept me centered.

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assandache7 Dec 2013
Educate yourself on the disease. Start here in the search section, also Alzheimer's .org... Patience is the key! Arguing will only make matters worse... Good luck and keep coming back here for support...

assandache7 May 2014
I had to read my own advice today!!

karenlorenzo May 2014
Dealing with someone who has dementia like Alzheimer is indeed a big challenge, the illness has no cure yet and you only have to offer the best possible care you can give. There are lots of independent organization who offers support for caregivers of long-term care dementia patients. What you need to do is educate yourself so you know exactly where they are coming from. You are going to need more patience and remember to avoid arguing with them. Here's a few tips on caring for long-term care dependents with memory loss:

http://www.infolongtermcare.org/5-useful-caregiving-tips-for-parents-with-memory-loss/

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